Complicated

Chapter 44: Thomas and Confessions

Sitting huddled on the bench the next morning, I was able to eat half my plate. Keepers and Runners were up and shuffling around the dinning area. I saw Thomas and Newt talking quietly at the end of the table. Minho slid onto the bench in front of me.

"How ya doing today Tiger?"

I shrugged. "Clinically alive, I guess." Looking back down at my plate and pushed the contents around a bit.

"That's the spirit!"

I looked back at him, he had his vest and bag ready to go, and I frowned.

"Are you going in alone?"

"Shuck no. I'm taking Jonny until you're ready to go back."

"The shuck she is!" Gally cut into the conversation.

Minho and I both turned to him. I raised my eyebrows.

"You are not going back out there!" He said again. I saw the fear flash in his eyes and immidiatly covered it with anger.

"The shuck I'm not. That's my job and I do my job well."

"No! I won't let you!" He said louder, banging his fist on the table.

"YOU don't LET me do anything." I pointed a menacing finger.

"No Charlie! It's so dangerous!"

"Yes. It is dangerous. And I'm willing to take that risk. So slim it."

He stood up from the table.

"No!"

"Not your shucken decision to make."

I didn't bother to look up. I stayed seated and picked up my coffee. I knew everyone was listening. I could feel their eyes. I hated being in the centre of attention. Why did Gally always start fights in the middle of public places?

The coffee mug was taken out of my hands and slammed down onto the table, spilling some, I jumped up and spun towards Gally; actually angry now.

"No! Charlie it's too dangerous and your still recovering. I won't allow it! End of discussion."

I laughed. It was dead and without humor.

"You don't shucken dare tell me what I can and can't do!"

"Yes I can!"

"Try it! I shucken dare you!" I hissed.

He had stepped closer, we were toe to toe, I could feel the heat from his body, and his breath in my face. I could see the tension in his shoulders, it matched mine.

I felt my anger rise, heat rose into my face and my palms were sweaty. My heart had picked up it's pace. I wanted to throw something at him right now. Preferably a chair. Or myself.

I saw the fear in his eyes. I knew deep down he was acting this way out of fear. I lost two running partners, two brothers to the maze. I lost our baby because of the maze and the dangers. I knew he was scared to loose me next. But so was I. I was scared, terrified. But I also knew this place is not a home. Never will be. We needed to get out.

"I can't lose you Charlie." He whispered.

I saw how broken he really was.

"You won't. Gally won't ever loose me." I said quietly, his eyes searched mine, desperately. I placed a hand on his cheek, and I felt him lean into my touch slightly.

"How? How can you be so sure?" He asked savagely.

"Because. I love you. And I'll always be with you." I said even quieter, placing a hand on his chest, over his racing heart.