Complicated

Chapter 46: The Griever

I pretended to be asleep already, by the time Gally came to bed. I just couldn't anymore today. Today... actually my entire year here had been one giant clusterfuck. I heard Gally's breath even out and become deep. He was asleep. How can he fall asleep so easily after sending Ben out there?

Nothing was ever easy here. And felt like it was getting worse. Ever since I went through the changing. I didn't know what was different. I also had no idea what Ben meant by Thomas and I were bad. Nothing in my memories clued me in to that.

I remember bits of Gally and I. I remembered working at a computer desk, a metal desk in a bright lit room, scribbling on papers, all kinds of math problems and blue prints. I remember voices whispering, saying WICKED is good. And a horrible voice which was garbled saying I had to be something called a distraction. And the worst memories; I remember pain shooting through my body as I lay strapped to a cold medical table, being poked and shocked while feeling like I was drowning, and the dark cave tunnle with those horrible creatures with my mother chained to the wall.

Everything is going to change!

I froze. My head vibrated quickly. My blood ran cold. There was a voice in my head...but this voice was different. The presence felt different; it felt familiar but it was uncomfortable and cold.

My heart rate sped up. And I was scared to move. The voice never came back. The uncomfortable tingling was gone.

It took a while for my heart rate so slow down. I was hot and sweaty now. I kicked the blank off and lay there, stairing at the roof. My mind slowly went back to the memories. And then wandered to Ben. How do any of those memories make me a bad person? Gally went through the changing and he didn't say I was bad ...so how could I be?

You're not a bad person.

I shot up. Breathing hard. The voice. The other voice was back, the smooth male tenner voice. The familiar presence, the familiar vibration. I immediately felt settled.

How do you know?

I felt a hum, like the voice was thinking.

You threw yourself in front of someone who had just tried to kill you. Pleaded for his life. A bad person wouldn't do that.

I sighed. Wrapping my arms around my knees. I sat quietly, mulling over the voice's answer.

Thank you.

You should sleep.

I can't. Will you...stay until I do?

Sure.

I slowly lay back down beside Gally. Curling up I closed my eyes. I felt the familiar comfortable presence inside my head. The steady gentle vibrating lulled me to sleep.

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I slid out from Gally and got dressed. As I grabbed my backpack I heard him stir.

"You're seriously going out there?" His morning voice was rough and sent a shiver down my spine, but I heard the disdain behind the words.

"Yes." I replied sharply.

"Fine."

"Fine." I repeated, walked out the door without looking back.

I was already in the map room with a little breakfast when Minho showed up. He looked terrible. He obviously hadn't slept. But he just nodded, and I nodded back.

"Let's run section 4. I want to look at the Cliff." I said, standing by the model of the maze.

He shrugged.