Ninjago Dragons Rising: the Off-Screen Moments

Vulnerable

In which Jay is mourning the loss of Nya.

An AU where Jay did not lose his memories

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Jay's POV

I stared at the screen.

"GAME OVER!! GAME OVER!!" it declared.

I groaned in frustration. Prime Empire used to be so easy to play, but now it seems I've been getting worse and worse at it. For the past five years -- yes, I've counted -- my skills and expertise at this game disappeared as a flame on a candle. It was the only thing I had left of my life before the Merge, and now it's going away, too.

I wished that stupid Merge didn't happen; unfortunately, I can't sneak into the artifacts storage for the Teapot of Tyran. Heck -- I don't even know what happened to that thing. So much for wishes, now.

I let out a heavy sigh, taking the glass of water sitting at the edge of the ottoman. I gazed at the clear, glittering liquid, reflecting the imaging on the tv screen. There was a time where my room was in a lighthouse, surrounded by the deep, dark ocean, and glasses of tap water. There was a time when I wrote poems of despair and poured seawater to blot them out. I didn't want to think about it. I thought we'd never be apart again. I was wrong.

It made me mad. Why do I assume things will always turn out for the good? Why am I always okay with what life gives me? I didn't want to hope anymore; it worked before, but it's been five years, and I think that's enough time waiting to quit.

I hurled that accursed cup at the tv screen, ending the annoying "GAME OVER" jeers. "Why? Just why?" I bawled. "Why do I have to be apart from you again?"

Just then, I heard someone step inside the room. I quickly wiped my tears, plastering my usual "strict, annoyed manager" look.

"What! You too damn good for knocking?" I yelled, facing the intruder.

"Uhhh, sorry, sir. . ." It was Sub-Agent Prentis.

"Say what ya wanna say already!" I demanded. "I don't got all day."

Prentis coughed nervously. "Well, Agent Melanie and I heard a shatter from outside. . .soooo we were hoping you're doing okay."

I discreetly hid my game controller behind my back. "Of course, Sub-Agent Prentis," I replied sternly. "Just a little frustrated about this paperwork."

A stack of missing persons files were sitting by the couch. Fortunately, I've already gone through them. Unfortunately, Nya's not on the list.

"You. . ." he glanced hesitantly at the tv screen and back at me, "haven't found your, uh, girlfriend--"

"Fiancée!"

"--right! Fiancée. . .yet?"

"No, Agent Prentis," I answered blatantly, rubbing the bridge of my nose. "Just take this paperwork and get on with your job. These people need to be reassigned immediately."

"Y-yes sir," he replied, picking up the stack of files and exiting the room cautiously.

Finally, I was alone. With a broken tv screen, a beat-up game controller, and glass shards scattered across the floor. With my numb thoughts, my haunting memories, and a surprisingly beating heart -- that was weak and breaking into pieces.

I clenched my chest in pain. Those chest pains kept coming more often now: there's no denying I'm falling apart. Except I can't admit that. Not here. Not when everyone expects you to get your job done perfectly, to obey every command with no question, to ignore your feelings and just do, do, do.

My knees gave in, those damn tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them from coming. Through my blurry eyesight, I saw myself cradling Nya in my arms, in a wedding dress, in a pixelated cube, in cold, blue water, in our soft, warm bed, sleeping soundly beside me. It seems like those tears was her reminding me of all the good and bad times, when we were still holding hands. But Ninjago was split in two, and the other half sank into the ocean, gone from existence. There is clearly no hope for me.

Why is she making me miss her? Why am I even missing her? I can't be missing her. I just need to work until I see her in some file or something. If I think about her again, people will notice and I'll be in danger. I can do anything and everything here, but no matter what. . .

I can't be vulnerable.

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A/N:  I am unsure if Jay has lost his memories.  I am that kind of person that would rather watch the show first before coming up with theories.  However, I will still keep this drabble on Wattpad whether he lost his memories or not, just so y'all can have a good read :)

A/N Update:  Jay really has lost his memories, but has a similar situation where, if anyone at the Administration found out about his powers, he'll be taken advantage of (at least that's what I think).  Let's pretend this is an AU where Jay hasn't lost his memories but is still susceptible to vulnerability 😅