Letters to the Love of My Life

a million questions

dear B,

i have a million questions i never got answered
i will never be able to tell you all of them so ill just say five
i dont want my words to be to you and be tampered
if i write them out eloquently maybe you'll be by my side

one, why did you spend our time together running?
i know you think you were running from pain but you were running from you
you ran from the version that loved me and told me i was stunning
it might just have been me but it felt like there was nothing i could do

two, do you remember the color of my eyes?
i know you knew when you revered the green center
it's been so long now, oh how time flies
oh love was the memory lost when you found her

three, why won't you admit that you miss me?
i see the way you almost say something then pull away
it was clear that night when we were alone in my back seat
breathing each other in, nearly kissing but i was afraid if i did you wouldn't stay

four, do you remember the smell of my perfume when you hug me?
i can feel you breathe me in every time, slowly and carefully
it strikes up memories only you and i could see
are you too trying to preserve the memory

five, when you told me you'd never forget the time we first met did you mean it?
as time has passed from my memory it has faded away
i want to hear how you remember it happened i want to know i want to feel it
our other memories flood my mind every day.

i wish i could say i was out of questions and i wish you were mine
i know i will wait for you in my heart forever more
your smile will haunt my soul for the rest of time
my heart will long for you even when it's bloody, bruised, and sore.

Forever yours,
A