A Dying Embrace [OT8]

026

Mingi 

I was so disoriented. Everything had happened so fast and now here I was, sitting in my mom's fucked up car and I had no idea what to do. 

I didn't know how to think or feel, my hands gripped tightly at my steering wheel. I put my car in park and turned it off, feeling nauseous at the scene before me. 

What had I done? 

I could vaguely hear my phone ringing but my brain was spinning and I just couldn't think correctly. I blinked a couple of times, trying to get a bearing of my surroundings. I didn't feel like I was connected to my body as I grabbed my phone from the passenger's side floor. 

Hongjoong...

The caller ID read across my cracked screen. I stared at it for a long moment, my brain way behind as I pressed my thumb against the screen to answer it. Slowly I brought it to my ear, not even comprehending the worried words that were spilling through the speaker. 

Everything was just so...quiet and so slow. 

"I think I killed somebody." I said flatly, the lack of emotion in my voice even stunning me. 

The line on the other end went deathly quiet. 

We were both silent for what seemed like forever because I had no idea what to say, and I doubt he did either. What do you say in a situation like this? 

Hongjoong let out a long breath, his voice shaking as he said, "Where are you? I'm coming to you." 

"I'm okay." I murmured. "I'll be fine. Bye." I hung up before he could get another word out but everything was just...

Wrong. 

I sat in my car even as the police arrived and paramedics came. My door opened and a paramedic came to me, checking to see if I had a concussion. They mentioned that I seemed to be in shock and I wondered if I was. 

The police couldn't get two words out of me if that so they quickly gave up, looking incredibly stressed. I recognized one of them to be San's dad and he came to my side the moment he could. 

I could see his warm smile as he unbuckled my seatbelt and turned me to look at him, but I just stared right through him. "I called your mom, okay? Also...from what we can tell, you won't be pressed with charges. We've gotten a few statements confirming that it was an accident and you're only seventeen. Trying you as an adult seems pointless considering the circumstances." He paused as he watched me, and I gave him no response. His face turned a bit grim, the smile fading from his strong features. "I know this is a lot, Mingi. Do you want me to take you home? Your mom might not be there for a while."

 I didn't know what I wanted. I didn't feel...

I didn't feel. 

But I knew I didn't want to be alone.

I swallowed thickly, trying to force words out of my mouth so he had some clue as to what to do with me. 

Finally managing, I said in a tone lower than a whisper, "Can you take me to the publishing company?" 

He immediately nodded, looking relieved that I had managed to talk to him. "Of course, son. Come on." He pulled me out of the car, supporting me as we walked to his cop car. 

"Mom is gonna be so mad at me for ruining her car." I mumbled, feeling a small sense of panic beneath the nothingness. 

"She's just happy you're okay. Believe me, as a parent we couldn't care less." 

We got in his car and I found myself playing with my sleeves as I stared down at my shoes. I felt so small all of a sudden, like I wanted to curl up into a ball and hide for the rest of my life. It seemed easier than facing what I had to now. 

Mr. Choi reached over and clasped his hand with mine, gripping mine tightly. "You'll get through this. You're a strong kid. What happened was not your fault, okay? I want you to know that." 

I nodded stiffly, having a hard time accepting his words. 

When we got to the publishing company, I got out with little to say to Mr. Choi. Displeased with that fact, he got out with me and went around the car. I barely had time to process or say anything before he enveloped me in a hug. 

My head ached from the need to release tears and I desperately clung onto his uniform. For some reason, in this moment and for the first time in years...I missed my dad. 

Filling that role for me as he had done with most of the rest of us, he tightened his hold on me. "I love you, okay? You're like a son to me and I want you to be okay. Please...please be okay." 

I clenched my jaw, trying to fight the tsunami of tears I felt threatening to soak his uniform. "I'll-I'll try." I hiccupped. 

He rubbed my back, not letting go until I made the move to. "If you ever need anything, please come to me. Please. I don't care what time or what I'm doing, I'll drop everything to make sure you're okay." 

I averted my eyes, not being able to maintain eye contact with how genuine he seemed. 

Everything hurt.