What You're Looking For

🌱Chapter Eight🌱

The weekend was spent relaxing alone. You had taken a bath, painted your nails and even done a hair mask as well as a face mask.

You thought a lot about Sammy. Every time you closed your eyes you could see his smile behind your eyelids. If black currant and vanilla was Sam's favorite scent, yours was slowly becoming the minty herbal fragrance of his shampoo. Your pillow smelled like it and you were starting to get embarrassed by the amount of times you had come into your bedroom just to inhale the fabric.

You were laying on your bed Sunday night when you got a phone call. You answered it without looking, anticipating who was on the other line.

"Hello?" you answered.

"Just checking in," Jake said.

"Oh. I'm getting ready for bed."

"How was your weekend?"

"Fine. Kinda boring. What'd you get up to?"

"Eh, I visited my parents."

"How are they?"

"Good. They're happy for me."

"Have they met Becca?"

"A couple times, yeah."

"Well that's good they're happy for you."

"So, I heard you hung out with Sam."

There was silence for a moment. You were nervous and scared like a kid about to be scolded by their parent. Then you were annoyed because what right did he have to be upset with you?

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?" he asked, defensively.

"You call and say you're checking in on me, make me think you care about me just to ease me into you giving me a lecture."

"Well, I'm sorry. And I do care about you! I care about Sam, too, though."

"What's he saying?"

"He's not saying anything. Josh told me he was hardly home at all this week."

"Well, maybe Josh needs to mind his own business."

"I love you. You know I do but please for the love of God do not treat my little brother like he's a piece of meat."

"I'm not..."

"I just don't get why you-"

"Jake, I really don't need you slut shaming me right now. If you wanna talk about something else go ahead otherwise I'll be going to sleep."

You were silent for a second, waiting for Jake to continue.

"I- I- I wasn't slut shaming you. I just don't wanna see our friend group change."

"It doesn't matter. It's already changed. I gotta go, Jake."

"Hey, wait-"

But you hung up before you could hear what he had to say. You were angry at yourself. Jake knew about you and Sam. How could he possibly just let it go and ever want to be with you? Josh was telling Jake your business, which seemed uncharacteristic for him. You had no one to blame but yourself, though. You were indulging and it was coming back to bite you in the ass.

You wanted to cry. You hated the way that Jake was treating you. He made you feel like shit. Sam was an adult and he could make his own decisions. You weren't the big bad wolf playing a trick on him. You were just getting caught up in your own desires.

A few minutes passed and your phone was ringing again. This time you actually looked at it, making sure it wasn't Jake calling again.

"Hi," you answered, your voice sounding giddier than you were expecting.