Rule #4: Live

Chapter 19

A/N: Try listening to 'The scientist' covered by Boyce avenue while reading this chapter :)

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Damon fainted after he kissed me. Gusto ko man syang suntukin ay wala ring kwenta. After all di ako lumalaban sa mga taong walang laban. I had no choice but to call the school clinic kaya ngayon, andito kami sa room nya. I mean, binabantayan ko sya?

The nurse said he had a fever. I did not know that gangsters are also prone to sickness. Well, they are heartless, wild, unstoppable and etc. And Damon did not even said that he is fucking sick.

"He is fine already. He is just sleeping now." the nurse said and left. Pero binalewala ko lang sya at sumandal sa kinauupuan ko. Why am I here? Pinakatitigan ko ang natutulog na demonyo. "yeah, you can manage yourself" pagkausap ko sa kanya at tumayo na.

"Mom" natigilan naman ako sa paglalakad. What did he just said? "Mom" lumapit ako sa kanya. Oh gosh! He is sweating like hell. Tatawagin ko na sana uli ang nurse ng makarinig ako ng hikbi mula sa kanya. Humihikbi si Damon? May tumulong luha mula sa kanyang mga nakapikit na mata.

"Mom no! Dont leave me. Dont die!" pagsusumamo nya na parang bata. I suddenly remembered what the sister had told me about Damon's mom. I hate it, I hate it whenever someone is being hunted by the memories of their family cause it sucks. I knew it cause I already suffered it, first hand.

Hindi ko alam pero kusang gumalaw ang aking kamay and brushed his hair. Tumigil naman sya sa pagsasalita at napalitan iyon ng hikbi. "ssshhh" I whispered as I gently brushed his hair. Pinaulit ulit ko lang ang ginawa ko hanggang sa tumahan na sya. I wipe the sweat on his forehead at tumayo na. Nagulat ako ng bigla nyang hinawakan ang kamay ko.

"I need you, dont leave me" he sincerely said. Napanganga naman ako sa tinuran nya. No asshole Damon, no evil Damon, no gangster Damon but the Damon who is longing for his mother, a kid Damon. I smiled, the sincere one. "I wont. Ill stay here" at umupo sa upuan na malapit sa hinihigaan nya. Pumikit ulit sya. Hindi nya pa rin pinapakawalaan ang aking kamay.

"Can you ... do that again?" he asked. His voice is so weak. Maaring mali ang sinabi ng nurse na okay na sya dahil ang nakikita ko ngayon ay ang weak Damon. Or maybe he is feeling ill emotionally. "Do what?" I asked back. "You, brushing my hair" umusog naman sya leaving enough space for me. "Here, sit here" he montioned the space beside him.

I gave in. Just for this time. I reminded myself.

Umupo ako at hinaplos ang kanyang buhok. What amazes me is no death threats, no arguments happening between us. Niyakap naman nya ang beywang ko. Skinship between us is seriously not a joke anymore. Inilibot ko ang aking mata sa kabuuan ng kanyang kwarto. Simple but elegant. Madaya dahil ako ay walang sariling kwarto samantalang sya.

"Thank you" he said. "Thank you for not letting me suffer again, by myself. Memories just cant stop flashing back. And I fucking hate it. Cause I cant do anything but to cry like a fucking helpless child." his voice full of sadness. I dont know what to say, I remained silent. Hindi ako sanay na nagcocomfort, cause in the very first place Im always alone with my every mission. Kahit papaano ay nakalimutan ko si hyung at ang mission ko ng dahil kay Damon.

Should I forget everything and start appreciating Damon instead?

Umupo sya at humarap sa akin. "Kaya mo na ba?" I asked worriedly. Instead of answering me, he hugged me. Hindi na ako nagpumiglas pa dahil alam kong nanghihina pa sya. "I cant" naguluhan naman ako sa tinuran nya. "I cant kill you" his words are so soft and sincere. "Ipinadala nila ako rito para patayin ang nagiisang tagapagmana ng dela Merzed clan" I know. But why he is telling me all of this?

He hugged me tighter.

"Railey .... Let's just run away, together"