chapter 25: courage, dear heart

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Jake wakes up with a sore arm, the aftermath of yesterday's car accident. It's a small sensation of discomfort, but he'a not complaining because it could've been worse.

It was raining very heavily and the visibility was reduced, so when the traffic lights suddenly turned red their driver was forced to slam on the brakes, which caused the car behind to hit them. Fortunately, the collision wasn't that serious and they've only suffered some minor injuries that will heal quickly, according to the doctor.

That's one thing that occurred yesterday.

And then there's the other thing...

Jake remembers, standing on that hospital bed, getting stitched up by the nurse when he saw Sunghoon running towards him. He was taken by surprise, but the moment Sunghoon hurdled into his arms, Jake felt safe. All kinds of emotions flooded him at once. Jake had never been so happy to see him. 

They were hugging so tightly, Jake could feel Sunghoon's heart beating loudly against his chest. He must've been scared.

After they left the hospital, Sunghoon kept checking on him, and helping him. He didn't want Sunghoon to feel obligated to do it.

But when Sunghoon said that he wanted to, Jake knew that he had to tell him how he felt about their current relationship, constantly going back and forth for three months.

Jake told him the truth, with a glint of hope that they can rekindle their friendship. That there's a small hope Sunghoon might just feel the same way.

'You'll never lose me.' Sunghoon had said, sounding sincere.

Jake couldn't describe the sense of relief and happiness that overwhelmed him, his eyes had gotten misty.

But one thing led to another...

When Sunghoon gently grazed his cheek, wiping away his tear, Jake's heart took a leap.

Sunghoon's eyes radiated warmth. Jake couldn't stop himself from staring in them.

Everything that happened after was so fast, it's almost a blur...except for the kiss. He doesn't remember the exact details of who leaned in first, if they both did...but it happened.

Him and Sunghoon kissed.

Like actually kissed...on the lips.

Jake touches his lips. He can vividly remember it.

This time, it wasn't a dream.

It only lasted for a few seconds, but it was such a sweet and tender kiss, it carried a sense of fragility, a precious moment to be cherished.

Yet it left Jake a lingering sensation of craving more.

He wanted to kiss Sunghoon again.

But as it appears, a moment is just that...a moment. No matter how much Jake didn't want it to, it had to end.

Sunghoon broke the kiss and sat up from the bed so abruptly, apologizing that Jake barely had time to register what was going on.

Yet it was what Sunghoon had uttered immediately after, that struck Jake worse than he could've ever imagined.

"This was a mistake."

These words and the apologetic look on Sunghoon's face splintered a piece of his heart.

Knowing how Sunghoon's is, he probably blamed himself for it, even though it wasn't his fault.

He should've told Sunghoon that it was the circumstance, the heat of the moment, and Jake certainly had his part in it.

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