Let's Switch

Day 08

Salamat at nandyan ka pa rin, supporting in silence 😊

-Bun

------------------------------x

Kakatapos lang naming maglinis ng mini-mansion pati labada tapos na rin, and man! What a workout! 

Pero aminin mo Thea, you never had been happier, more peaceful, and more content until a week ago.

Bumuntong-hininga ako.

Yeah.. these people, the environment, the feeling of not having to prove anything or be on alert at all times.. Ayokong matapo --

"What are you thinking, Thea?" Pagtawag pansin sa'kin ni Miss Val.

Napagdesisyonan namin na mag-snacks sa garden kaya gumawa ng makakain itong si Miss Val. At ngayon ay kakabalik niya lang galing sa loob na may dala-dalang tray of foods and two glasses of tea.

"Oooh!" Numingning ang aking mga mata dahil stuffed fries lang naman ang kakainin namin. "Thank you Miss Val!"

"You're welcome, dear." Nilapag niya ito at naupo sa harap ko. "Now spill."

"Hm?" I asked with my mouth stuffed.

She clicked her tongue. "If you think you can hide something from me, you are mistaken, my child. You got a far-away look, as if you want to escape from a painful reality, so tell me. What's bothering you?"

Yung text po ng alaga niyong nag-ngangalang Gunter Valentine. Hanggang sa makatulog na ko at this morning, wala. Hindi niya sinabi kung ano 'yung claim-claim ek-ek niya at panay ang iba ng usapan. Hayop.

Huminga ako ng malalim.

She clicked her tongue again. "It's Gunter, isn't it?"

Nanlaki mata ko tsaka tumawa ng medyo kabado. "Not everything, Miss Val, but he's included in my thoughts."

"Yeah? What did that brat do?"

"Pfft!" Brat daw. "Nothing bad, so no worries."

"If it's nothing bad, then why did you have that look? What is it you want to escape from?"

I sighed again. "Your Majesty, Calvin, and you." Yes, nachika ko na sa kanya ang alamat ng pagtawag ko ng Your Majesty kay Gunter Valentine. "You three have been so great to me that I sometimes have to keep myself mentally check, you know?"

Tumaas ang isang kilay niya. "And what kind of mentally check are you doing?"

I met her compassionate eyes. "The kind that tells me that none of these will last long. That my time here with you guys are limited." Malungkot akong ngumiti. "That this kind of treatment isn't really for me. It's just a role. A game. I'm not.. This is not for me."

Tumahimik siya muna bago muling nagsalita. "Did Gunter ever mention how Calvin and I are not the type of people who get close with just anyone?"

I nodded with a happy smile. "He did. Last night. He was surprised that we got close in less than a day."

"Because you are a good woman, Thea." Miss Val held my eyes strongly. "There's so much love and happiness in you that they're overflowing and reaching and affecting me and that old man, Calvin. You have such a bright, comforting smile that can make anyone feel comfortable around you. I saw that. Calvin saw that. And Gunter is yet to see that."

"Yet?"

Tumango siya. "He has the idea, since you two have been communicating, but see it in action? See and be around you?" Umiling siya. "You two have not met in person and actually look at each others' eyes, have you?"

Ako ngayon ang umiling. "Just pure text. He have seen me sleeping though, and I've seen his back the other night, but that's about it."

"But nothing like how you and I, or you and Calvin, right?"

"No. He said we will see each other soon, but work happened so that 'soon' will take place possibly a week from now.." Uminom muna ako ng tea bago nagpatuloy. "Please don't get me wrong, I completely understand how work life is. I'm not sad about it, no. Not even disappointed. No negative thoughts at all."

"So you're okay with not seeing your supposed husband because you understand his circumstances.."

"Yes, no whining from me."

"Mm," she nods as she got some fries while studying me. "You fell in love with us didn't you? And you don't want this month to end."

My heart dropped. I felt naked and exposed as my eyes felt hot. 

"It's only been a week, Miss Val," halos pabulong kong sambit bago mariing pumikit at dinama ang pagbasak ng aking mga luha. "It's not enough time to actually know people. Then I met you on top of it all -- a caring mother-figure and I.. I know we only met yesterday but.. but for me, it felt like I've known you forever. And it's scary.." 

The last word really came out as a whisper and Miss Val engulfed me in her arms.

"Oh, honey.. it's okay! Shh, shh.. There's nothing wrong with what you're feeling. It's okay, sweetie." 

Alam kong pinapagaan niya ang loob ko pero mas lalo lang akong umiyak. "I-I-It's not, Miss Val." I looked up to her. "I shouldn't.. feel this way.. I can't.. I c-can't be attached with you guys.."

She cupped my face as she wiped my tears away. "And why can't you, sweet child? No one, not even the owner of the house, is telling you to not be --"

"Because I can't Miss Val," umiling ako at hinilamos ang mukha when she let me go. "I can't because this is not mine. This whole façade is what I want to escape to.. but it is not mine! I am not the lady of this house. Heck, I'm not even aiming to be the lady of this house.. I just want.. just.. to s-stay.. to be with your company.. being around you three.."

I hesitated which she caught right away. "Being around us what?"

Lumunok ako bago nag-confess. "I feel like I'm home.. I feel secured.. safe."

Pinag-aralan niya ang aking mukha at hindi ko alam kung ano ang nakita niya sa itsura ko na nakapagpasabi sa kanya ng, "Son of a gun!" Hinatak niya ang kanyang silya at kinuha ang dalawa kong kamay. "Who?"

I blinked. "H-Huh?"

"Who was that asshole who made you suffer, Thea? And what in the bloody hell did he do to you?"

My lips trembled as dark memories flashed back, I had to look away and swallowed a huge lump in my throat. "I can't tell you, Miss Val.."

"The hell you can't! Who was it? What was it! Thea Bawtry, get your mouth working and start telling me the damn details! The ass-shit's name and his --"

Umiling ako. "No.. I can't Miss Val," giit ko.

"Thea --"

"It was all in the past."

"But it's haunting you!"

"And it never stopped. I know.. But I really can't share it.."

Tumingala siya at huminga ng malalim. "What can you say then, Thea? What can be shared because you can't fucking dismiss this?" 

"Will you.. Will you please not tell them? Not to Calvin, especially not to Your Majesty? Please?"

Pumikit siya at tumango. "Depends on how bad --"

"Then I won't --"

"Ugh, fine you brat! Talk!" Humigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay niya tsaka nag-simulang umiling ulit. "Thea --"

"It-It wasn't a him.."

"W-What?"

Nanginig ako as just closing my eyes made me relive what happened that I had to shake my head. "Not a him, Miss Val... It was a them."