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I hold Nellie's waist trailing behind her as we enter her home.
I see her mum and my anxiety kicks up.
I take deep breathes and Nellie must notice my change as she holds my wraps her hand in mine on her waist.
I can't beleive we kissed. I can't believe it happened and i'm okay, i can't believe it happened and nothing more happened.
I always thought my first real kiss would be so much different, so much anxiety, so much stress, so many tears, so many flashbacks. But it wasn't like that.
It felt easy and like a breathe of fresh air.
She makes it all easier, she makes my head go quiet and my heart slow down.
She stops me from breaking, she stops me from crumbling.
And i owe her everything for that.
"Mum, this is my.. friend Henry."
"Hi, it's nice to meet you." I say, swallowing down the lump in my throat.
Her mum smiles and looks between us, "Nice to meet you Henry."
Nellie leads me upstairs to her bedroom and she yawns laying in bed.
I stand awkwardly looking around as Nellie puts on tv.
Does she want me to leave now?
"Henry, come lay down." Nellie tells me.
I slip under the covers of her bed and i can't fight myself as i snuggle my way against her.
She wraps her arms around me and i close my eyes.
She's everywhere. But in the best way possible.
Not in the way Mary is.
Nellie's scent fills my nose and it calms my body, her delicate skin under my finger tips and her arms wrapped around me holding me close.
She's so perfect in every way that matters.
She softly rubs my hair running her fingers through it. My eyes fall closed and i rub her hip.
"Go to sleep my sweet boy."
I'm asleep in the flick of a light.
~~
"Baby, hm, Henry, wake up."
My eyes open and i'm greeted with Nellie's beautiful smile.
She smiles and kisses me softly.
"Is something wrong?" I whisper, anxiety creeping in.
She shakes her head, "I just missed you."
I smile, no one's ever missed me before.
I kiss her again, relishing in her taste.
She tastes like strawberries. She tastes like heaven. She tastes like home.
I brush the hair off of her face, "Are we um, are we like, um you know, like um-."
"Dating?" She whispers, "Is that what you want?"
"Do you?"
"I do, Henry, i really do, but if you don't want too that's okay."
"I don't know how to be in a relationship, and i'm not every easy," I sigh, "I don't know how to treat you good and i want you to be treated how you deserve."
"Hey, shh, you treat me so good. We're only young, sweet boy, and we can teach each other and learn to be in a good relationship."
"I don't want to loose you."
"You're not going too, i promise. But if you aren't ready for a relationship i understand."
I kiss her and let my head fall into her neck, "I want to be with you, Nels."
Her breathe slows down as she holds me.
"Goodnight, my sweet boy,"
"Goodnight baby."
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I AM IN THE FATTEST SLUMP EVER AND I HATE IT AND IM DISAPOINTING YOU ALL AND IT KILLS ME FUCKING KILLS MEEEE
