Izuku's guide on how to survive middle school

Step 7

You don't matter
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Well then. I guess there really isn't anything to it after all. Why should one even bother trying to get accepted by the other kids?

You just need to get this into that thick skull of your. No one likes you and no one would ever care to get to know you. That's it.

The point of the story is, at the end of the day, you are better off alone. No, you don't need anyone.

I don't need anyone.

Even as my heart screams for me to go out there and make some friends. You know, all this stupid nonsense. Truth is, I can't do that because that's just how life wanted it to be. Me, forever an outcast. A reject. The school's biggest loner.

When you have been hit one too many times, you learn that you don't really matter. No one really matters, if we want to be brutally honest, but I happen to be more meaningless than anyone out there. I don't care what you have to say. Your opinion doesn't really matter at this point.

Laying motionless in a bathroom floor had been nothing new for me. Watching my blood pool out, its crimson color enveloping everything. My uniform got soaked in it and my nose was filled with it's disgusting smell. I wanted to puke. My insides were turning, my stomach was twisting into knots and all I could taste was the bloods metallic aftertaste.

No one came for me that day. It was only me. Me and that stupid child inside my head. Why can't he ever shut up?

Sometimes, I wonder what he wants out of me. Didn't he have enough. Can't he see that his needs are only causing us more harm? I don't get it. I really don't.

In all my life, I had been overlooked. Pushed to the side by everyone. Why can't I just accept that this is the way of the world...

I don't know when I was able to find the strength to stand back up again. It must have been hour. I hardly pulled myself up and then stumbled out through the doors and corridors until I left school. I didn't care to look if I still had lesson. Luckily, my mom wasn't home when I had come back.

It took a while, but eventually, the students started to forget of that incident. I slowly drifted to the background once again, becoming that one little annoying fly that gets in your nerves by just existing but you find it too much of a meaningless nuisance at the moment that you don't bother with it. With time, that aggression towards it is going to build up and you are going to react, trying to push it away. You will try to kill if it doesn't get scared and doesn't fly away.

That's how I was feeling. Like that fly.

If there was anything all these years of bullying have taught me is to always appreciate the calm before the storm. Because you might never get another. When you are me, truth is that the calm is never really calm. There would always be a bully that would be a little too aggressive with you. There would always be that kid that accidentally tripped.

There would always be Kacchan. But the time for his story hasn't come yet. Maybe next time.

Even with all that, it is still better than the 'main events'. No, those happen only once in a while and each once seems to leave me more broken than the last. Both on the outside and the inside.