Izuku's guide on how to survive middle school

Step 10

No dreaming
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When every day becomes a new low for you, memories start to blend together. I have long since lost track of time. Many times, I black out and find myself in a different place than I last was. Sometimes, it feels like I am stuck watching a movie, unable to interact with the world around me. On those days, I try to remind myself that I am real, but not everything is working. Not when I know that I have spent the majority of my life just standing on the side, unable to react to anything that happened to me.

These days, I have found myself slowly loosing interest in everything around me. I have grown bored of the always repeating circle and yet I know that I will never be able to escape it. I am scared, because I know that in the end of the day, this is who I am now. An empty void. Just another puppet for my masters to use and take advantage of. It has always been this way.

I wanted to be a hero. I used to dream about it day and night. I was a fanboy, another one of those fanatics that would do anything to get to know one of those powerful individuals. I idolized all of them. I wanted to be like them. I wanted to give this world another chance. I wanted to save everyone. I wanted to be there for whoever may need me. I wanted people to know that when they looked at me, they have found their safe space. That there was hope for them too.

I wanted to fight for that vision of mine. I tried so hard to make it a reality. Even without a quirk. That setback didn't matter. As long as I had the spirit to keep on going. That was enough. In my eyes at the very least.

To other people, my dream seemed just a childish ambition. Nothing more. No one could believe that something like that was attainable by a no one like me. And, as cute as it might have been for me to claim that I want to be a hero, as I grew older it started getting worrying. People could see it not happening and now they were making their opinions clear.

Everyone thought it was their responsibility to bring me down to earth. Everyone thought that they had to personally pull me down from my little cloud and shatter everything that I had worked so long to create. My dream had been stepped over one too many times now. All I have left are its shattered pieces that I have for way too long carried with me. Do I actually even want to be a hero at this point? Or am I just going after it because I have nothing else to look out for?

This empty cage I call my body has nothing else to keep it going. Just a childish dream that I can't get rid of, no matter what I do. Just a childish dream that got me this far and I should be thankful for how long it had lasted and yet, it is the reason that my mind is so messed up that I can't even go a day without wanting to... Not yet.

School is always exhausting. I can't stand it anymore. I feel tired all the time, no matter how much sleep I get. Everything is too much in there.

Today, before arriving, I came across a villain attack on my way. I stopped and watched as a new hero debuted. The fight was nothing worth mentioning, but this was a new hero at work, so I guess I had to take notes on them. I don't even know why I still bother doing that. Especially knowing what would happen if people at school found out. Force of habit I guess.

I would admit, the fight had raised my spirits a bit. It's not everyday I get lucky enough to watch one that close up, so the child in me was happy. I guess he could have that one. I arrived at school feeling rather content. I wanted to get on writing about the hero as soon as possible to get it over with. I had this sense of lingering excitement, which I welcomed as a nice chance. Maybe I could have a somewhat okay-ish day at school for once in my lifetime.