Izuku's guide on how to survive middle school

Step 9

Hide your scars
(You are NOT crazy)
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I just can't see the point to it anymore. Every day is getting harder for me to go through. The bullying never stops. I will never be free. It doesn't matter how quiet I make myself. I am barely a ghost passing through the halls. I don't even care to put on a smile. At this point, is it even worth it? Would being cheerful change anything?

Nothing I do ever works out for me. I am always followed by the people's stares, critical and disgusting. They look at me with piercing red eyes. They seem so angry that sometimes, I feel like they want to kill me. I am sure that if they had the chance, they would kill me.

I try to avoid crowded places, but someone would always end up finding me. I hide into the bathroom stalls, put my hands over my ears and I try to pretend that I am not at school. I try to pretend that the students outside aren't real, there is no one banging on the door and most definitely they do not have the power to break it if they wanted to.

School is a living hell that I don't want to be into. My feet tremble as I walk through the main entrance. In class, my fingers twitch, once, twice, many times. I can't stop them. The noise is annoying Kacchan but I can't stop it. They have a mind of their own. My chest aches as I try to suppress the need to mumble. I put my hand over my mouth. I bite my tongue so hard that I feel blood coming out. But I don't care at this point.

A teacher would glance at me from time to time. They wouldn't say anything but I could see the smirk forming. They liked destroying me just as much as anyone else. My eyes water every time they ask me to answer. I have no idea what they were talking about. My mind is too preoccupied on trying to get out of survival mode. They would shout at me and my classmates would laugh.

I have become a big walking circus. Were has it all gone wrong? It must be something in my blood. That's why everyone is laughing. The way it's crimson color has fully soaked into my uniform. I am red inside and out now. If the principal were to see me, he would demand I buy a new one. But I don't have the money for that anymore. Not when in the last year, I have gone through ten different uniforms. And of course, I can't ask my mom.

It hurts everywhere. There is nothing I can do to stop it. Pain killers are failing. My body has grown so used to them that they don't numb the pain anymore. The only thing going numb is my mind. It turns into water, splashing around in my head. I can't think straight. I can't think at all. I only watch.

I watch as I am thrown against walls. I watch as my head is shoved into the toilet. I watch as I am locked into the bathroom again. I watch as Kacchan burns me with his explosions because I dared get into class before him. My body is so tired.

I lay in my bed and I try to find the strength to stand up because mom has called me for dinner. I don't want to eat anything. Whatever goes down gets back up in a record time. Nothing stays in anymore. My body doesn't want the nutrients. But either way I will force it to. Just for a while. Only when mom watches.

She says I have lost weight and that I need to eat more. I don't see what's the point. I was always a flair little sh*t. What being even skinnier going to do? I am probably doing a huge favour to my bullies. It would be way easier for them to pass me around like a stupid ball.

The past few days, my mind has been acting weird. It talks to me, it tells me to do things I shouldn't do. It's turning and twisting in on itself. It shows me things I want to forget. It wants to drive me mad.