Interlunary Solus (FNaF DCA Fanfiction)

Chapter Ten: Need For Self-Forgiveness

Moon was right. By all of the gods, Moon was right. Sun shouldn't have come down, they were a risk and they'd known it the entire time. They should've been more careful, shouldn't have been left alone with the poor mortal, and now look what they'd done. What a funny thing it was, to be the god of life, and yet the second highest cause of mortality out of any god.

"Sir, with all due respect... there is work that needs to be done. I understand that you are upset, but, things are piling up..." his assistant, Polaris, trailed off. Her diamond shaped wings shivered with anxiety, emitting a soft buzzing similar to that of a fly or a bee. "You know I would step in and do your work if I could. You deserve time to recuperate from all of this; you of all people deserve a break. You've been working so hard, you always try your best, and it isn't fair that bad things happen when you visit a realm that you built! As much as I wish I could leave you alone, I-"

"Relax, Pol." Sun sat up from their bed - which they had despite not needing to sleep - and pushed their blankets off to the side. They tried and failed to smile at Polaris, not wanting her to worry any more about their state. She was right, and it wasn't her fault that any of this happened... she had even voiced her concerns about the plan before it was thoroughly thought out. "I'm getting up... I can do this. It's not as bad as last time."

"There was less work last time." Polaris reached out and took Sun's hand in hers. "I'm here for anything you need, alright? Not just assistance with work, but emotional assistance too."

"I need a distraction, so this'll be perfect... if you can do me a favor though, there is something I'd like you to do for me, okay?" Sun rubbed the back of her hand with his thumb. "Take a break. I've had my turn, and you've been working overtime to cover me. Go ahead and rest. Hang out with the reapers if you'd like. Visit the music demigods. Check up on Arcturus or the other demons. Whatever you'd like; I'll call you if I need anything."

"No you won't. Even so, I'm in no place to deny such a request... I'll check up on you in a few hours, okay?" She tilted her head, looking up at Sun with a look of concern that they couldn't miss. They wouldn't say anything about it though, no, there was no need to. They were almost flattered, if not a little guilty.

"I'll see you then, little star. Would you like to take Beam out with you? They haven't had a walk in a while." Sun knew that Polaris was rather fond of the stardust-scaled bearded dragon he called his pet. A version of the sun loving bearded dragon that didn't have a maximum capacity for heat, making Beam the perfect pet.

"I think I will do that." Polaris went to leave the room, but paused in the 'doorway' - being that Sun's realm was made of clouds, there weren't doors, just spots where you'd drop down to a lower cloud or fly up to a higher one - and turned around to face Sun one more time. "Hey, dad, please let me know if you need anything... even if I know you won't.

Despite everything, Sun felt their heart swell. It was not often that Polaris referred to them by such a fond term. They knew she hadn't meant to say it, at least considering the context to other times it had occurred within the last hundred million or so years she'd existed, but that only made it all the sweeter.

"I'll make sure not to cause any more trouble than I already have, I'll survive. I always have, haven't I?" Sun replied. Polaris seemed satisfied with that answer, nodding and stepping off the cloud, spreading her wings and diving down until she was out of sight.

Sun stretched his own wings out, letting their fires crackle and spread. Each feather was comprised of a flame, and the whole wing appeared as a singular fiery unit unless you looked closely. Once upon a time, his wings were much closer in resemblance to Polaris' crystalline ones, but as he grew and changed, so had his vessel.

They stepped towards the side of their room opposite to where Polaris had dropped off and peered over the edge. Their room was the highest cloud, allowing them to have privacy; Polaris' occupied a discrete and often unused corner of the seemingly endless skies, with a completely unused cloud layer directly above to shield from the gazes of others. Last Sun checked, she'd also added curtains to the outside - like most of Sun's creations, she needed sleep, and the curtains were the only thing preventing light from peering in and disrupting that precious rest.

Sun flew towards his office, only to find when he got there, his very own sibling sitting in the corner on a cloud chair, patiently awaiting his arrival. Moon seemed anxious, tapping their fingers against the armrest, creating a repetitive series of soft music-box-like sounds. Sun paused, landing carefully on the cloud an folding his wings, running a hand through his frills.

"I know it's probably important, but I have work I need to catch up on..."

"You can work on your designs while I talk. I won't take it personally if you can't pay your full attention to me, but we need to have this conversation now," Moon said, "What happened back there with Y/N wasn't your fault. They're back in the mortal realm now, Arcturus handled their medical needs. They're okay. I'm sure they're going to live a long and fulfilling life."

"Humans are not built to lose limbs like that. I should know, I designed them." Sun folded their fiery wings and sat down at their desk, looking at the pile of files Polaris had left for them since the incident. It was a lot to tackle at once, especially while maintaining such a touchy conversation.

"They aren't, but it happens. Their own medical technology has advanced so far that Y/N has a much higher chance of living a somewhat normal life than if this had happened a century ago. Humans are smart. They may not be built to lose limbs, but you built them to be intelligent and adaptable. What else would showcase that best than dealing with something that they aren't traditionally meant to handle?"

"I knew that it was risky and I knew what happened last time and I still went forward with the plan, Moon. You and Pol both voiced your concerns and I said it would be fine. I knew the risks and I went forward -"

"We went forward, Sun! We both went forward. And you know what? Trying is the only way to learn sometimes. You're getting better and some day you will be able to do it. Now isn't the time, but eventually. Nobody died this time. You managed to keep from burning the house down. You were worried and that's valid, it's okay to have emotions and it's okay to be overwhelmed."

"Not when it hurts other people! You don't know what it's like, Moon!"

"I never said I did, but I know my brother and I know when something is hurting him. I know when he didn't mean to do something. And I know that you didn't mean to hurt anyone. I can see that it's hurting you that you tried so hard and still didn't succeed. I can see that it isn't your fault. You've brought more lives about than those that have died. You are the reason life exists."

"That does not give me the right to hurt them. It does not make it okay."

"You are an immortal entity that predates life itself, Solar forbid you make a few mistakes! You always more than make up for it. You have hurt a few people. So has everyone else."

"You'd never hurt someone on accident. You've killed what, one person?"

"What I've done is irrelevant, Sun. There is no point in comparing yourself to others, because no matter who you are, someone is always better. No two people have the exact same set of circumstances. Things happen. The only difference is how you deal with it."