Never In Your Favour

The victory tour

Like the morning of the first reaping I attended, the sky was grey that day. A light drizzle fell from the heavens, and with it came a fierce sea wind. There was a district ban against anyone approaching the ocean. It didn't matter anyway: everyone would be watching Finnick's train depart. I longed to be with him. Not on that awful Capitol train, but out there, in the sea, where nothing could hurt us apart from the mutts, which we could easily ward off now.
From my room, I could hear Finnick conducting his televised interview with Flickerman. He laughed, joked and flirted as usual. There was a particularly awkward moment where Caesar asked about the girl Finnick had mentioned loving before the games began. In a stroke of, albeit depressing, genius, Finnick became very quiet and withdrawn, and said that 'she' had died in a mutt attack whilst he was in the games, and he was still getting over the loss with the help of his closest friends.
We were all headed downstairs to accompany Finnick to the station to catch his train. I didn't intend to watch much of the victory tour, save for the large Capitol party at the end, but I would of course be attending the final district four celebration. As we left the house, Arabelle ran to me and took my hand firmly in her's , and skipped along next to me, singing the lullaby, despite the, albeit very cloudy, daylight. She seemed so happy and carefree. Of course, she didn't know what her brother had got himself signed up for. What he was going to put himself through to protect her... to protect us. She had no reason to be upset. She was in no danger of being reaped, and she spent her days playing her flute by the sea and singing. I envied her greatly.
Finnick fell into step with us, noticing my thoughtful expression.
'Will you watch the tour?' He asked.
'I will! I will! I will!' Shouted Arabelle with an extraordinary amount of vivacity and excitement. Finnick raised his eyebrows and looked at me.
'I might take a peek at some of it..' I admitted. He nodded in acknowledgement and began to chat to Arabelle about all of the different districts.

I knew the tour would be hard for him: I had heard him scream every night as his dreams were filled with blood and the faces of dead children. Now he would have to face the districts, and the families of people he had killed. The worst part was, he would have to do it all with a smile here, a wink there, and a couple of flirtatious comments thrown in too. The Capitol would be expecting him to look as desirable as possible, and his stylists would certainly be under orders to aid this to the best of their abilities.

By the time we reached the platform, the show had begun. Finnick graciously began to accept flowers from doting fans, smiling sweetly and blowing kisses that made the surrounding citizens swoon, even here in district four. I had mastered the art of telling his sincere smiles from the ones he put on to show the Capitol. Here, in front of all these cameras, his smile was merely surface level: it didn't quite reach his eyes, and the dimples in his cheeks lacked depth. But when he looked at me and saw my reassuring smile, his eyes shone like the sea in sunlight, and the dimples became more prominent as he smiled with his very soul.

As he boarded the train, he turned back to face the crowd, looking into it with his breathtaking smile. He gazed directly at a camera that was positioned straight in front of me, and spoke.
'To all you lovely Capitol citizens out there watching, remember: it was love that got me through the games, and love will keep on bringing me back.'
His eyes lingered to meet mine as he gave a small nod. Belle gripped my hand tighter as we both waved until the train was completely out of sight. A tear rolled down my cheek, before I wiped it away, and put on a cheery smile for the benefit of our families. He wouldn't be gone for long, but after the games it was so difficult to be away from him at all.

~~

Finnick's visits to the other districts were televised, but it made me sick to see how he had to flirt with practically everyone he saw. He was doing this to keep us all alive. He was sacrificing his future, even after everything he'd been through in the games. From the little of the tour I watched, I was surprised at how well he was greeted by the other districts - even those who's tributes he had killed himself. Apparently his charisma usurped the usual bitterness displayed towards the visiting victor. Even in district three, as he came to the end of the tour, despite the large hologram of Joyce facing him, nobody behaved as if he were a murderer - they all just craved his attention. The only person I could see to be even mildly affected by the image of the dead girl, was Finnick himself. His voice cracked as he read her name and talked about how strong she was. In the heat of the games, you'll kill anyone - you stop being yourself and turn into the murderer the Capitol wants you to be. But after, when the children you slaughtered stay in your dreams as surely as the sun stays in the sky in the day, you begin to realise what it is you've done, and who it is you've killed. You realise who the real enemy is. Not some poor, defenceless children from a neighbouring land, but those who sit on high thrones, and drink from ornate goblets engraved with spiralling snakes: the Capitol officials.