Coming back for him

19

I don't know what it is but something about Ezra keeps my head racing everyday, he burns holes in my mind. He ended with all the good shit after our break up and I ended up with shitty consequences.

I was abused mentally and physically, I had the worst three years of my life and he was here loving everyday with Bella. I don't understand what he sees in her, she tried to drug me for fuck sake.

I sit and tug at the sleeve of my sweater, me and the girls are in the stands of the hockey arena, the boys somehow managed to get drafted onto the same team. Quinn and Mars updated me on everything I missed while I was gone.

Parker and Ashton where the only ones that didn't go into hockey after college, Ashton got an injury that stopped him from being able to play further and Parker decided he wanted to be a physiotherapist.

I haven't spoken to any of the boys since I've been back apart from Atlas, Aaron and unfortunately Ezra. My eyes are on the ice and they keep drifting towards Ezra playing, he's so fast and knows exactly what he's doing it just makes him more attractive.

My uncle is still a coach back at our college and he's been working the team more since the guys left. It's like he's punishing the new guys because his players had to leave.

I cross my legs, leaning my elbow on my knee and resting my chin in my hand. Quinn sits beside me screaming and cheering Aaron on while she feed Luna. Luna's wearing a pair of noise cancelling headphones to hide her from the loud fans.

I'm not surprised, you could go fucking deaf in here.

"How does it feel, coming to see them play again?" Mars nudges my shoulder with hers, a small smile playing on her lips.

I know what she's doing. That girl is a schemer, she wants me to talk about Ezra and possibly spill that I still love him. I don't like talking about him, it brings back all the unwanted memories that I want to forget about.

I shrug, focusing my eyes back on the ice where my brother skates with the puck. "It's good. You know I always enjoyed it. The ice, the boys, the fans all of it." I mutter.

I lean back in the seat clapping and cheering Atlas on when he lands a goal in the bottom corner. "Hm, what about Ezra? How you feeling about seeing him again?" She pushes.

I draw my bottom lip into my mouth biting down hard, my eyes automatically landing on him. It doesn't help that he's my brothers best friend, I see him everywhere.

I don't even know what to say to her question, I mean honestly? When I see him I get a rush like I used to, it takes me back to when we were together.

I just don't want to, want him anymore. It's exhausting that all I can do is think about him. I thought I lost all my feelings for him when I came back here but when I saw him again all the feelings came rushing back.

"I- I don't know." I huff. "He brings back all these unwanted memories and feelings that I've tried to push away for 3 years." I groan. Dropping my head in my hands.

Mars puts a comforting hand on my shoulder "Look babe, I know it's hard. Seeing him again after 3 years? That must sting like a bitch. But I just have a question for you." Her voice is soft.

I know where she's going with this, she can read me like a book. I just don't know if I'm ready to admit it yet, I'm not ready to let those feelings overcome me.

I nod for her to go ahead and ask the question she's been dying to ask since I first got back. "Do you love him?" She asks. Her warm and inviting eyes staring into my cold and closed off eyes.

A lump forms in my throat my eyes darting from Mars to Ezra on the ice. "I don't want to." I chew on my lip, I toy with the bracelet on my wrist.

It's true I'm not lying, I don't want to love him. I've been trying to cut off these feelings but being back in my hometown and being around him is hard for me.

"But you do love him don't you?" She mumbles. She tucks my hair behind my shoulder and dusts my shoulder.

I nod and swallow thickly "I do." I murmur. I stare emptily at Mars as my feelings for Ezra come back full force, nearly knocking me on to my ass.

Her eyes soften at my words and she wraps an arm around our shoulders and pulls me into a side hug, my head drops down on her shoulder and my eyes scan the ice until they land on Ezra.

It's like Ezra feels my stare and he looks up searching the stands until his eyes connect with mine, a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips.

His smile has always been contagious and I can't help but smile back at him I know i shouldn't, I shouldn't even be seeking him out everywhere I go but I can't help it.

I jump out of my seat when someone barges into Ezra making him go crashing to the ice, I slap a hand over my mouth watching as he lays sprawled out on the ice.

I release a breath when he start to sit up, he snaps his eyes to me and a smirk forms on his lips telling me that what that guy just did isn't going to stand with him. I bite my lip and shoot him a thumbs up.

I don't know what had gotten into me but I kind of felt like being supportive. He pushes to his feet and a heartwarming smile takes over his features, a smile that makes all the girls go crazy.

I bite down on my finger and my forest green eyes stay on Ezra the whole game. My foot taps against the floor in anticipation of Ezra's next moves all through out the game.