The Psychology of Falling in Love

VII. September 2nd & September 3rd

"Thanks for bringing me back to my car, Aria," I said with a small smile as I leaned into her driver's side window.

She just nodded. Ever since she went back to the living room, she's been reserved. Apprehensive, reserved, hiding. I sighed and patted the top of her car, stepping away to my own vehicle. Aria sped off as I started my car. I followed suit, albeit a bit more slowly, headed for the grocery store.

Days with Aria were more difficult than days without her. We didn't understand how to toe the line without doing something remorseful. To be fair, there shouldn't even be a line to toe, but I couldn't stay away for long. Ignoring her left me with this disgusting feeling, something I couldn't put my finger on.

But on days where I'm with her, my version of Aria that I get to see, I always end up feeling empty. We transform from the best versions of ourselves, hidden away in a cocoon- to total strangers with an emotional strain. The whiplash was nauseating.

I sighed and called my only solid anchor.

"Another call so soon? Have you separated yourself from your forbidden love?" Imani asked with humorless sarcasm.

So much for an anchor.

"Don't," I began. "Don't do this, Imani."

"Sorry, it was a bad joke." Her apology sounded sincere enough. "But, really, what were you two up to last night?"

"We didn't do anything last night," I sighed. "I fell asleep, she carried me up four flights of stairs, and she slept on the couch!"

Imani was silent. Then, her laughter flooded my ears. She was cackling. "Ha-Aria? Carry you? Ha! She hates exercise!"

I rolled my eyes and huffed. "Anyway, that's all that happened. I woke up, realized I passed the fuck out in her car last night...Felt bad, made her breakfast."

"Well," Imani chuckled. "It's good to see you two hanging out again."

"Yeah," I muttered. "It's great. Anyway, I was calling to ask what you want me to bring tomorrow."

"Could you make your potato salad?"

"Of course. The one with the capers, right?"

"Yes!" My best friend practically squealed into my ear.

I laughed. "Well, I just got to the grocery store. I'll see you tomorrow at 4."

I hopped out of the car and walked towards the store front. It was hot, but not overly so. Definitely a bit more mild for September than I would have preferred, but it wasn't even the end of the first week. My eyes caught a familiar car-Aria was here.

Fuck, I groaned internally.

I grabbed a cart and beelined to the produce section. The store was swarming with people preparing for their barbecues and cookouts tomorrow and Monday. Husbands piled by the meat section, their wives perusing for everything else. No doubt the husbands would credit themselves for everyone's full stomachs tomorrow.

My hand hit something as I reached for a bag of potatoes. I looked up and saw a middle-aged woman standing nonchalantly with my hand on her arm. "Oh my God, I am so sorry!"

"It's fine." Icy, blanched, holier-than-thou. But she looked oddly like someone I knew.

I grabbed a bag of potatoes and threw an apologetic smile. Instead of staring at her while she was aware of me, I stepped away to look over the green onions and kept her in my peripheral vision. Her hair was a shiny, silky, wavy mahogany color. Her facial features were sharp but soft. Barely a wrinkle in sight. She held herself well and did not shy away from the people jostling around her.