The Psychology of Falling in Love

XXIV. December 20th

"I can just do it after work, Edward," I exclaimed, folding my arms across my chest.

He shook his head. "Christmas is in 5 days, Claire St. James!"

"Don't full-name me," I grumbled, hiding a grin. "You're not my dad."

Amanda's eyebrows were raised as she watched the interaction from her impromptu office set up. She often stayed here with us instead of in her actual office. Her claim: we were too entertaining to leave.

A large portion of mine and Edward's conversations were bickering and bantering as we read through dozens of sheets of data. Currently, I was on the floor as I delved into recent burglary reports in my 6 locales. With each new instance, Edward put a digital tack on the location on the smart board.

I groaned and laid flat, holding my phone over my face. "Remind me not to move to Bishopville."

"Have you taken your lunch today, Claire?" Edward asked.

I scoffed. "We've been together all day, you know I haven't."

He towered over me and nudged me with his foot. "Get up and take the rest of the day. It's only 2 hours."

"He's got this, Claire," Amanda said from the side. "Besides, I'll keep the old man company."

With a sigh, I lifted myself off of the floor. "If two of my supervisors are telling me to leave, who am I to argue?"

I gathered my things and said my goodbyes. As my boots thumped against the floors, an eerie feeling of bitterness flooded my senses. Each step caused the hole in my stomach to deepen. The decorated surfaces I passed gripped me long after I was out of their reach.

I hate Christmas.

♥

I perused the aisles of the LEGO store, humming and hawing over the race car sets. I couldn't go 2 steps without bumping into a desperate parent looking for the exact thing their child requested from Santa. I chuckled to myself and shook my head. In foster care, the majority of us knew from the start that Santa wasn't real. Even as an adult I was jealous of the joy and magic other children continue to live through every holiday season.

My favorite Christmas present was when I was able to wake up without a black eye, a decent breakfast, or an aura of blissful silence. But c'est la vie.

Things were going to be different this year, however. I had Imani and her family, as well as my girlfriend and her best friend. My rag-tag motley crew that I wouldn't trade for the world. Just the thought of them caused me to smile, the heaviness on my chest lightening just a bit.

My love, what was the set you got for Eli?

Ari♥: the porsche 911

Ari♥: he'd probably like the mustang if they still have it

I nodded and squatted down to grab the blue and black classic Mustang from one of the bottom shelves. Right as my fingers were about to touch it, it was swiped away from me by someone else. A small spark of agitation lit inside my chest as I turned to face the person who pawed a Lego set out of my reach.

My eyes met a familiar pair of deep-ocean irises. I expected to see the Ice Queen's taught, blushed skin, but instead it was sunken and dull. I rolled my eyes and bit my tongue, stepping away. I threw up my hands in surrender.

After I rounded the corner of another aisle, I sat still and practiced a breathing exercise. The sounds of parents bustling around me, screaming children from the mall, the smells of cologne and perfume mashed together with general odor—