The Shadows Star: Book 2

34: Let It Make You Stronger

In the quiet solitude of her room, Sombra's conflicted emotions continued to churn like a relentless storm. She replayed their conversation by the fireplace over and over in her mind, each word etched into her heart with painful clarity. She knew that her decision to hold back her feelings was the rational choice, the one that adhered to the Jedi Code and its responsibilities. Yet, it was a decision made in fear and no amount of rationalizing would console her aching heart.

The soft, gentle breeze rustled the curtains as a sliver of moonlight shined into the room. She turned to see Padmé stepping inside, a smile on her face. "So how was ev—" she stopped suddenly as she registered Sombra's tear-streaked face.

Without a word, Padmé approached her and enveloped her in a warm and tender embrace. Sombra's tears fell freely onto Padmé's shoulder as she clung to her friend, finding solace in her unwavering presence.

In the cocoon of her arms, Sombra could barely speak through her sobs, "I just couldn't tell him, Maé. I care for him so deeply, but it's impossible. I– I was too afraid and I've ruined everything."

Padmé tightened her hold, offering a silent haven for her pain. The moonlight seemed to linger on the delicate dance of emotions in the room. "Shh, it's okay, honey," Padmé murmured, her voice a soothing balm. "Take your time."

Sombra trembled in Padmé's arms, allowing her friend's gentle fingers to stroke her hair as if to coax away the shadows that loomed over her heart. As she steadied her breath, she spoke with the weight of unspoken fears. "I thought I could muster the courage, but when the moment came, every fear I had came rushing back. Now, everything feels broken."

"Oh Som... I'm so sorry..." Padmé's heart broke at her friend's pain and she wiped away her tears.

Sombra let out a shaky breath, her heartache still palpable but less overwhelming in her embrace. They lay together on the bed, looking up at the ceiling above them. Padmé's arms remained a sanctuary for Sombra, offering her solace and understanding until the tears subsided and exhaustion took hold.

With Padmé by her side, Sombra eventually found the peace she sought, drifting into a deep sleep.

In the realm of dreams, where reality's boundaries blurred, Sombra found herself in the familiarity of her childhood bed. Curled up, she sobbed, the weight of the world pressing upon her shoulders. This room, the sanctuary of her earliest memories, became a refuge for the cascade of emotions she couldn't contain.

Pulling her blankets tighter around her, the echoes of her turmoil reverberated through the dreamlike landscape. In her anguish, arms suddenly wrapped around her, pulling her against a solid chest and a deep voice hushed her, "Oh little shadow, what's wrong? Who dared to hurt my child?"

Looking up through tear-stained eyes, she saw the unexpected comfort of her father's face. "Papá I—" her words die in her mouth as she choked on sobs.

Each tear she shed reverberated through Maul's being, aching with a desire to shield her from the cruelties of the galaxy. His paternal love pulses within him, stirred by the sight of his shadow's pain. "Hush now, my little one. I'm here for you."

As Maul witnesses his daughter's pain, an all-too-familiar sensation grips his heart—an echo of the fierce protectiveness he felt when she was just a child. The intensity of this devotion transforms into a solemn vow. No code, no promise, and no semblance of honor would be spared if it meant preserving the well-being of his child. Maul's arms, wrapped protectively around her, tighten as his vow settles in his heart.

Crying harder now that she felt the protection of his embrace, she buried her face against his chest. His strong arms rubbed soothing circles on her back, and his deep voice reverberated through his chest and brought her the solace only a father could. She inhaled his familiar scent; focusing on the deep spices and the notes of chocolate and amber calmed her breathing.

"I'm so afraid."

He stroked her hair gently, his touch soothing. "Ah, yes... fear." Her father tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his gaze. "The Jedi believe incorrectly that fear should not be felt. Due to that, you run from it rather than embrace it and cope. Fear is normal, my child."

"But, you were never afraid."

"Is that what you think?" He chuckles. "The day I brought you home was the day I feared most. And as you grew, the fear always returned; it was around every corner. At first, I considered running away, but then I would look at you, and I knew I could never. Bringing you into my life was the best decision I ever made; you brought me so much joy. The fear didn't vanish entirely, but I made it a driving force, compelling me to do whatever I could to ensure you were safe and loved."

Sombra looked up at him, absorbing the weight of his words. "I never knew..."

He smiled, a mixture of warmth and sadness in his eyes. "Fear is not about running; running from it will only guide your path. Face it head-on. Let it make you stronger."

With newfound determination, Sombra wiped away her tears. "Yes, papá."

He embraced her once more, his darkness now a comforting presence. "That's my girl."

Suddenly she felt a panic and fear that weren't her own and heard Anakin's scream echo. Her father pulled away and looked at her with eyes full of love, "My little Sombra, I wish you could stay, but he needs your help."

"But I don't want to leave you." She begs.

"I know darling. I will be here when you need me. I promise. But you must help him, you are the only one who can."

With his final words, she is pushed out of the dream and her eyes flutter open to the first rays of the morning sun shining through the window. She wipes her eyes and sighs deeply, attempting to let go of the storm in her heart. With the slight breeze and the melody of songbirds, she's lured outside to meditate.

She steps out and takes a deep breath, but feels a torment and sadness that aren't hers. Opening her eyes and looking across, she sees Anakin's still form in a deep meditation. Not wanting to intrude she slowly steps away but is stopped by his voice.

"Don't go."

She stops in her tracks. "I don't want to disturb you."

"Your presence is soothing."

She pulls the blanket closer and steps nearer. "You had a nightmare again last night."

"Jedi don't have nightmares." He says without opening his eyes.

"You can't lie to me Skywalker, I felt it, I heard you."

He opens his eyes and turns to her and only then does she truly notice the dark circles and the puffy red eyes. She took a step closer, reached out on instinct but stopped herself halfway.

"I saw my mother. I saw her as clearly as I see you now. She is suffering, Sombra. They're killing her. She is in pain..." his tone becomes desperate and his movements panicked. "I know I'm disobeying our mandate to protect the senator. I know I will be punished and possibly thrown out of the Jedi Order, but I have to go. I have to help her! I'm sorry, Sombra. I don't have a choice." As he finishes he hangs his head.

Her heart aches and she allows herself to reach out tilt up his head and look into his eyes. "Ani, it's ok. I know you don't have a choice. We may not be on the best of terms, but I am always on your side. I'm probably the only other Jedi that truly understands. And," she pauses and takes a breath, remembering her father's words, "I'm going to help you."

His head snaps up and he looks at her incredulously. "What do you mean? What will happen with the senator then?"

"I'm coming too," Padmé yells from Sombra's room. "Continue to protect me, and you won't be disobeying your mandate."

Sombra smiles at her and turns back to Anakin. "What about Master Obi-Wan? What about Master Plo Koon?" He asks.

Sombra looks at him and shrugs, "I guess we won't tell them, will we?"