you and me to the end of time

Chapter 12: A tough decicision is made

Maria POV

I got home yesterday and my mother won't answer any of my calls. i swear to god that if she finds some stupid excuse for not seeing me or talking to me i am done, this is the last straw. she is the only reason i am even back home, or else i would have stayed in korea and found a job and a place to live, since at least some people care about me there. Today I decided to go to her place to see what was wrong since she didn't pick up her phone or see my messages. and as i stand out front i can already feel down in my stomach that something is wrong. I knock on the door and there is no answer. I tried the door knob and luckily it is locked so I know no one broke in at least. I took out the spare key she gave me and unlocked the door, preparing myself for the worst like I always had to with her. As I open the door I call out to her and get nothing, I let out a sigh, then enter. As I walk around her little apartment it reeks of weed and I see some bottles with pills in them, and my eyes grow big. "are you fucking kidding me?!" I yell out as I lift a glass from the table to look at the content. slamming it back on the table I head for her bedroom to see if she is there, and yes she is indeed laying in her bed. I went over to shake her awake. almost no response, except i see her chest rising so i know she is alive. "what the fuck is wrong with you?" I shouted into her face. "You selfish bitch. how dare you keep doing this to me and ruining my life?!" a yell louder as tears stream down my face. I have no clue when she took those pills, and how many, but she is nonresponsive, so I have to call for an ambulance. standing with my phone they finally pick up and i tell them what is up. they sigh after i said my mothers name since this is not the first time i have called from this. "an ambulance will be there shortly." the man says. I walk outside since I am in no mood to look at her in this state anymore. why cant she just keep her shit together for once when stuff isn't going according to her head.

I waited outside for the ambulance to arrive and after 10 minutes it was finally here. I explain everything to the driver as the others head inside to have a look at my mom. They walk out with her strapped down to the stretcher, she is awake but is fighting to get out of the straps. "What the hell are you doing here?" she says as she makes eye contact with me. "Got home yesterday, remember? or maybe you don't, when did you start taking those pills again? I thought that you stopped." I say to her, not feeling anything anymore. "Why do you care? All you do is abandon me." she says as she scuffed at me. "I didn't abandon you. I was on vacation and did something important to me! why cant you for once just be happy that something good is happening to me. you weren't happy when i got my first apartment after i broke up with my toxic ass ex, you were jealous that i got financial help, then you dumped all your sorrow on me, your youngest child when you were supposed to support me, and heal with me after dad died. not dive into this spiral again. what is wrong with you?'' I ask her as I only feel anger left in my body. "What is wrong with me? I have no one maria, not one single person to talk to, and the drugs give me a break from all of that. it makes me feel good, when my daughter leaves me, don't you see that?" she screams as she still fights to get out, with wide, crazy eyes. "don't you dare give me the guilt trip. I have always been there for you, but you were never a mother to me, just someone you threw away then came crawling back to when no one else wanted you in their lives. and you know what, I get them. you drain me, and all you do is make me feel miserable all the time. can't you see that?" I say to her as they finally get her into the ambulance. "then leave you fucking bitch, leave like all the rest, go fuck yourself." she says then spits out at me, hitting me on my cheek. I have nothing left to say to her. i wipe away her spit, then just turn on my heels to go home quickly. "no, maria. I didn't mean it, but please don't leave me. no stop you useless piece of shit." she shouts after me. I just keep on walking.

When I got home I looked at the clock, to see what the time was in korea, not too late yet, so maybe i can text Hobi.

M: Hobi? What are you doing right now?

H: We all just ate. What about you, pretty girl?

M: Just got home from seeing my mother. and now i need some help in getting home, my new home. this is not my home anymore. I am done.

H: omg are you ok? I will talk to the others and we can figure something out together. don't worry. Can I call you when I know more?

M: I don't think I am ok, but I will be once I am out of here. and of course