SECRET (a bada lee social media story)

19.

The room was filled with an air of tension as Sabrena and Bada finally sat together. Bada gestured for Sabrena to join her on the couch, and she did. Initially, they both sat in uncomfortable silence, each unsure of how to begin. It was clear that the weight of unspoken emotions had taken its toll on them.

Breaking the silence, Bada decided to address the elephant in the room. "Can you tell me why you've been avoiding me?" she asked.

Sabrena let out a sigh, her nerves palpable. She glanced at Bada, her eyes filled with apprehension. Bada spoke up again, "You don't have to be nervous. You can literally tell me anything."

"I'm scared," Sabrena confessed.Bada looked at her, her expression a mix of confusion and concern.

"Scared of what?" Bada inquired.

Another sigh escaped Sabrena's lips, and she finally found her voice. "I don't know... I just... I just really like you Bada, and I'm scared because I feel like this has no future and we are both just going to end up getting hurt in the end." Bada was taken aback by Sabrena's confession.

"What do you mean, that it has no future?" she asked.

Sabrena started to explain her fears, her thoughts tumbling out. "You live in South Korea, and I live in London. Your past relationship ended because of the distance. I'm scared that the same thing will happen to us. What if the distance tears us apart?" Sabrena continued.

Bada sighed, visibly stressed by the weight of Sabrena's concerns.
"I don't know. There's no way to predict the future. But I really like you, Sabrena, more than I expected. I'm willing to see where this goes," Bada said.

Sabrena gazed down at the ground, taking in everything Bada had just said. Overwhelmed by her emotions, tears welled up in her eyes and began streaming down her face.

Bada, seeing Sabrena in distress, moved closer and wrapped her arm around her, offering comfort. "What aren't you telling me?" Bada asked.

Sabrena looked up at Bada through her teary eyes and choked out the words. "I'm not staying in the competition."

Bada's heart sank at the revelation, and she struggled to comprehend what she had just heard.

"What?" Bada asked, wanting her to repeat it to make sure she heard her correctly. She knew Kirsten said that Sabrena was thinking about leaving, but she didn't know she had made a decision already.

Sabrena continued to speak through her tears, her voice trembling. "I haven't told my crew yet, but I can't stay here. I'm not in the right headspace to be in the competition. I can't be the reason they fail. And then there's my feelings for you, and and my mom... it's all too much. I feel like I'm going crazy."

Bada was at a loss for words, unable to fully grasp what was actually happening. "Your mom? What happened with your mom?" Bada inquired.

Sabrena began to recount the painful conversation she had with her mother, revealing that she had essentially been disowned after coming out. She expressed her need to return home to try and salvage what was left of their relationship.

Bada was stunned and struggled to find the right words to respond. Sabrena, reaching out, grabbed Bada's hand. "I don't want you to be out of my life. You've become my best friend, and I'd love to stay in contact with you, if that's something you're open to," Sabrena said.

After a brief silence, Bada replied, deeply moved by Sabrena's words. "You've become one of my best friends as well. I'd be selfish to ask you to stay if it's harming your mental health. I'll miss you..a lot," Bada confessed.

"I'll miss you too...a lot. I'm not even sure if this is the right decision, but I just know that being here is becoming so hard...There's another side to it though." Sabrena says.