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Since I first came to Asia with One Direction, I fell in love. Especially with Japan.
I have friends here, and it is so good to reconnect with them when I come back, it almost feels like home. But at the same time it feels like no one knows who I am. I feel normal and that feeling is incredible.
I go to small local restaurants, and they treat me like everyone else, and as weird as it might be I love that mundane thing.
Today is my last show here.
Tokyo, I could move here, is such an amazing city.
I'm doing the pep talk with my band and managers as my fans are singing their hearts out to Queen.
As I step on stage, I'm greeted with an amazing audience. As I make my way around the stage I search for her. It became a routine. She is always in the crowd sometimes alone, others in the company of some friends. Today she's alone, her blonde hair is in a bun. Over her shoulders is a white Boa, and she's wearing a white shirt that says 'BUT DADDY I LOVE HIM' in red, which makes me laugh. Her face has a little amount of makeup or maybe none at all. She 's gorgeous.
She swings to the beat of the music, as I sing 'Matilda', with her blue eyes closed with a cheeky smile on her lips and tears down her face. And I smile at the sight of her, that's the face of someone that doesn't relate to the song, someone that has a supportive family. And I finish the song with my eyes on her.
Throughout the concert I stole glances her way but she never notices me, it's even like I'm not on stage, like I'm not the one that is singing the songs she's dancing to. And that's fucking captivating.
I say my goodbyes, and promise to come back.
As I enter backstage, Pauli, Mitch and Sarah ask if I want to join them to grab some drinks, and I accept. I change clothes and head out with them.
As we walk to a small bar that Pauli found while exploring the city, I think of her. I never was this dawn to a fan. Yeah I have a crush on them a few times, there are some beautiful ones. But there's something about her that makes her different and I don't know what or why.
Mitch calls my name and I snap out of my thoughts. "What made you so distracted tonight? We have been calling your name a ew times" I sigh "It's nothing. What did you want?" They all frown and Pauli says "what do you want to drink?" "Whatever you order for you".
As the night goes by I get distracted again, because I can't stop thinking about her and also because I'm tired. I love touring but I'm glad that I'm going home for a little break before the last leg of the tour.
After a few days, I'm back in London. And a little sad that I won't see her for a while or anymore. So I decided to call my sister to talk to her about this, for her to call me crazy and tell me to snap out of this, because she is a fan and there is no way this could be something.
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