Mr. Sadistic

36 || sunrise

My scream feels different in a second. My chest is pounding so hard it sounds like a cartoon sound effect. A cold sweat drenches me as my body flings up and my eyes are wide with pure terror.

I'm gasping, my stomach hurts and my body shakes uncontrollably. My eyes dart across the room. The lights on as the team stands around looking equally as panicked as I feel.

It was odd for me to get nightmares within a small amount of times. This one however felt so real, it was a fever dream that made me skin crawl just thinking about it.

The fact my brain could come up with something so vile and spine-chilling only made me fearful to go back to sleep. The images would not escape my mind even though I tried hard not to think about it.

I'd never seen Ghost's face before. In my nightmare it was blank,  I didn't know how to feel about conspiracies that dreams and nightmares meant something. Maybe it was everything that was going on.

A big role in the mission, being pushed from Ghost and the hovering thoughts of DD74 filling my days with immeasurable stress that had found a way to reach me in my sleep. I could only hope that it left itself.

I know I'm a vocal sleeper depending on my dreams or nightmares. Often its gibberish and incoherent, sometimes its angry German and other times it's just grunts that indicate my mood. 

It's not often that what I see or say while unconscious comes out my mouth. My throat feels raw, and my breaths drag along with a raspy undertone.

"Stop-" I rasp, "stop looking at me" I croak. Their eyes scatter off in different directions, to the floor, the ceiling and walls.

I get up quickly. I grab Keegans wrist with more force than I intended, making him inhale sharply at the grip.

I pushed his sleeve up confirming he had no bracelet. I step over to Ghost and do the same before checking everyone else and finding nothing.

I look down at my own wrists. I squeeze past Gaz and head towards the door leaving the room quietly. My heart still races, and I shut the bathroom door as I step in.

I look at myself in the mirror for a moment and realize my eyes are red. I run the tap, splashing water onto my face and shaking my head.

I'd never had a nightmare so vivid before. Price had suggested we head to bed instead of playing another game, but everything felt so real.

The fear the sadness. I hated my brain for it, I'd even woken the team which made it worse.

Something was stressing me out. Seeping its way into my dreams and turning them into nightmares that only reminded me of what I feared.

I wiped the drips of water from my chin and sighed. Shaken was an understatement. I splashed my face once more and huffed looking at myself.

I unlocked the door, trying not to be embarrassed as I stepped back into the room. The team sat around talking in hushed conversations that cut when I walked in.

They look at me and I gave them an uncertain smile. "I'm okay" I said with a little thumbs up. "I'm uh, I'm going to sit-" I waved my hand about behind me as in 'out here'.

I left before anyone could exchange a word with me. I dragged my hands down my face in exhaustion as I sat down at the table.

I laid my head down in my arms with a small sigh. Deciphering the nightmare was pointless. I was certain I had a fair idea on what it was about.

≡≡≡

"That hardly looks comfortable Dex" Ghosts voice wakes me. I look up from the dark shelter of my arms and squint at him.