When the Tide Switches - Rafe Cameron

Chapter 33- What The Fuck

Play Death By a Thousand Cuts by Taylor Swift during Lillian's POV

Rafe cheated on me. What the actual fuck. 

You know when something happens that is probably the last thing you were expecting, it leaves you in confusion, and without any preparation. Needless to say, I wasn't expecting Rafe to cheat on me. 

The way he told me, so unbothered, so careless about what he had done to my heart. I felt so fucking stupid, our whole relationship, the way I trusted him, the way we got each other, all fucking bullshit. 

I ignored everyone telling me not to get with him, but they were right. It was all an illusion, except it didn't feel like one. What we had, felt real, and genuine, it felt like true love. And the Rafe I had grown to know would never cheat on me, he would never as much as look at another girl. I guess that Rafe never existed, he was just a picture in my mind. 

I hated Rafe, for what he had done to me, for the way he made me love him and then changed his mind, but the thing I hated the most about him, as cliché as it is, was that I was still in love with him, I didn't hate him. 

I wanted to warn myself before summer started, warn myself not to let him help me from Dylan. Warn myself not to look for him the day we kissed for the first time. But, I couldn't and now I was stuck with Rafe's ghost. 

Everywhere I turned reminding of him and of what we used to be. Two days had passed since Rafe had told me, and I had been locked in my room both days. 

I had a million missed calls from my friends, who knew nothing about what had happened. But not one from the one person I wanted to hear from, Rafe. His name failed to pop up on my home screen, not one call, text, nothing foreshadowing a sense of guilt. 

My mom and dad tried their best to comfort me and help me but I never let them in my room. The only person whom I'd told about everything was Ethan, he was also spending those days with me, watching series with me, comforting me while I was crying, talking about how I felt with me. 

"Lil," Ethan said to me through the door, 

"Busy," I said, except I wasn't busy. I was lying in my bed looking at the ceiling, thinking about Rafe. Thinking about how much everything I saw reminded me of him, right now I was precisely thinking back to when I first realized I had feelings for Rafe. 

"Sarah's here Lil," Ethan said, catching me off guard. I didn't think of how my friends would react to everything that had happened, and quite frankly I didn't want to tell them. 

"Lil, the day after tomorrow is Midsummers, what are you doing locked in your room?" Sarah said from behind the door. 

"Fuck," I mumbled. I completely forgot about Midsummers. "I'm not going Sar," I said. 

No way I was going, going would mean seeing Rafe, having to dance with him, having to enter with him, sit next to him, all because we signed up as a couple. When we did that I had no idea he was going to fucking cheat on me. 

I was so mad at him, for everything, all I wanted to do was punch him in the face until he was unconscious, and then kick the shit out of him. Violent, I know. 

"Lil I'm coming in," Sarah said and that's when I remembered she had the other key to my room. Damn her. 

Sarah entered my room, it was messy and clothes were all over the floor, along with everything that reminded me of Rafe. Which was my whole room. "Lillian, what is this mess?" Sarah said and I groaned getting off my bed. 

"Ethan, why did you let her in?" I groaned. "Because she's your best friend and you need a female to help you cope with this shit, I'm going to the beach now," he said and I yelled at him for saying a swear word.