Carolina, Continued. (FLETCHER x Taylor Swift Caylor girlxgirl gxg Gaylor)

The End (READ WARNING)

a/n if you came here you are reading at your own discretion. 

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I lay here in bed, staring at the ceiling, something I find myself doing quite often nowadays. I wonder if that could have all actually happened for me. For her. I can't help but wonder if any of that ever had the chance of truly becoming a reality for the two of us. If I actually went backstage to her concert in New Jersey. If we could have actually ever fixed what was broken between us.

Of course, I have thought of the million different ways it could have ended badly. I try to do that more often than not, but sometimes the 'what if's' cloud my mind. I know it's over now. I know there is no chance of anything like my fantasies becoming true for us. We were at the wrong place, at the wrong time. Our relationship was never going to work, no matter how badly we wanted it to, and I know that.

I know our love would never be strong enough to keep us together, no matter what problems we fixed between us. There would have always been something to keep us apart. There are always going to be rumors, there are always going to be problems the two of us could just not work through. I know our love for one another was endless, but it wasn't enough. Wanting each other was not enough.

It's been a couple of years since I ran into her at that party I went to with Selena. It's been years that I have spent contemplating the what if's and what could have been's. I try to not think about it too much, but some nights when I see her on TV or on the screen of my phone, it's hard to not to wonder. It's hard not to think of her.

I know I still have love for her, and that's why I found myself able to block her a few months back. She cut communication with me awhile before that, seeming to finally give up. Even though I no longer received texts, calls, voicemails, or unexpected visits, it was still hard to delete her number from my phone. Of course, I still have it memorized, but one day I hope I will forget it.

I think I truly am okay now, even with the nights that I lay here in the dark, watching my fan spin and fantasizing. I continue with my music, continue to grow my career. I made new friends throughout the years, and try to keep my focus as much as I can.

I hate that I can no longer speak with Selena. I know she was always the middle person between Taylor and I. That's actually the exact reason I stopped talking with her too. I know if I continued my friendship with her, it would be a million times harder to heal from Taylor and I's relationship.

I do love Selena dearly, but I also know that we were hurting her badly too. She also had hope for us, had hope that we could make it work. Hope that we could fix everything, but she was also living in a fantasy. It took me quite awhile to realize that this was the right thing for me to do. This is the only right thing I did in our relationship, I put us through so much hurt, so much bullshit, and ending everything was the answer. If I didn't do that, we would still be continuing to hurt.

Taylor seems to be doing good. She seems to be happy. I see on the internet that she is in a new relationship, well as new as it can be when the woman she is with is Karlie. I'm not bitter about it, though. The one time I met her, she was kind, and I know she cared for Taylor.

Taylor has always deserved someone like that. Someone that could make her happy. Someone that could be there for her. Someone that is kind and forgiving, someone that she could forgive. That's what I found myself caring about in the end. I just want her happy, I wanted her happy with someone who could truly be that for her, and she seems to have found it. Karlie had a divorce with her husband, and ended up back with Taylor. I truly am happy for the both of them.

I don't know if I will ever move on from her, and I have come to accept that as being okay. I don't need a relationship to be happy within myself. It took too long for me to come to this realization, but it came, and I am content with how things are for me.

There was always only a 50/50 chance that Taylor and I could work things out, as I have seen in my fantasies of what could have been. Those chances were never high enouch, no one could truly predict what would have happened between us. That's what makes me question the choice I made sometimes. What if it did work out? What if we did end up together?

We may have been meant for each other if we met at a different point in our lives, if other factors could have changed. Maybe if she was ready to come out the first time around, this could have worked. Maybe if I trusted her and forgave more easily, this could have worked out. Maybe if we met later on in our lives, maybe if we met earlier on in our lives, it could have worked out. Those questions no longer matter though.

She is happy. That's what matters in the end. She is happy, and I am okay. I am content.  She does mean the world to me, and I love to see how much she succeeds, even if I only see her on TV, supporting her from the comfort of my home. 

In the end, things happened the way they were meant to, even if I fail to see that at times. We will both continue on with our lives, separately. The reality of it all is that I know I will only continue to think back on everything, but I have come to realize that thinking about her is a part of me now. 

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a/n I loved sharing this with you all, even if it took me forever to sit down and write the second book I planned out. I hate that I continuously gave us a bad ending (probably the reason why it took me so long to write). Apparently, I just couldn't bring this story to a good ending. I stg I was just as upset writing these books, and I hate myself for ending them so poorly.

Thank you for your endless support. I think I am going to continue to write new stories. Let me know if you think I should write something new about fletcher and taylor