Then I saw you

The First Mate

Astraea POV.

I woke up in a cold sweat, panic evident in my body. It was a normal occurrence for me to get panic attacks during the night.

I turned around, facing the clock on my nightstand. 3:37 stood boldly in big red numbers, internally groaning. I got up and stumbled to my bathroom, turning on the light and quickly squinting my eyes at the bright, cheap LED light.
I turned on the shower, and a disappointing drizzle of water came out. "I guess that's what I get for moving to the city," I tiredly mumbled. If I had just stayed in Washington, the water would have been nice and warm. That was one of the only nice things about that place. Turning around, I started undressing.

I pulled my shirt over my head and let it fall to the floor. A reflection of a sad, skinny girl looking back at me in the mirror, scars lining her entire body. It was a mix of self-made scars, and the results of the abuse my "father" put me through. I poked at my stomach and pulled down on my skin. I walked over to my scale and stepped on it. 89 ponds—the numbers stared at me. I'd lost 6 pounds since last week. I stepped off the scale. Likewise, I tried to gain weight, but I didn't have a lot of money for food, so I had to go hungry sometimes. My eyes shifted to a razor on my countertop, and before I even knew it, I was holding it in my hand, slowly walking towards the sad excuse of a shower.

I dragged the razor across my wrists,

1

2

3

4

I started getting Flashbacks from my time with my biological dad.

POV. flashback

"IT IS NOT NORMAL TO HAVE EIGHT SOULMARKS MARIE, SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER." That was the first thing I remember my father saying: "SHE IS YOUR DAUGHTER, DAN!" My mother yelled back. "NO, SHE IS NOT, I WON'T HAVE A SLUT FOR A DAUGHTER" my father violently screamed to my mother, which was followed by a loud bang. Skin colliding. Followed by my mother running into my room and locking the door behind her.

I could hear my mother softly crying, "Why is Daddy mad at me, Mommy?" I naively asked my mother, who still had her back turned to me. "Don't worry, Raea, Daddy is just a little confused right now." But he wasn't, he just didn't want me. I only found that out once I got older. My father didn't have any soul marks, and my mother's soulmate died when she was 19. I guess that's why my father resents me so much. Because I have what he doesn't.

My mother was also a receiver of my father's abuse, it became too much for her. She started taking drugs and drinking—anything that helped her forget her sad life. She died of alcohol poisoning when I was 11. Shortly after my mother's death, my father was reported for child neglect and abuse, and then I was put into foster care.

5

6

7

I no longer cry when self-harming, I learned from a young age that there was no use in crying. My head started to spin, and my vision got blurry, which is what stopped me from making more cuts. So I put down the razor and started getting ready for the day.

I stepped out of the shower and put on some bandages to make sure I wouldn't bleed through my shirt sleeve.
While tying my long brown hair up in a ponytail, I walked out of my bathroom and found a long-sleeved shirt to put on. I took a tight pair of jeans from a chair in my small living room to wear, I jiggled and jumped around to try and make my ass fit in them.

After my little dance and successfully closing the button, I went to put on some mascara, chapstick, and perfume before quickly pulling my leather jacket on. I grabbed my sketchbook and pen, then left my small, cheap-looking apartment, remembering to lock my front door.

I quickly jogged down the stairs and left through the door in a hurry to make sure I didn't bump into my landlord. He gave me the creeps, always looking at me like I was a meal, and he was starving.

I finally escaped out to a weirdly quiet New York street, where I was met with a cold breeze that gently caressed my face. A slight shiver went down my back as I moved toward Central Park.

------------------------------------------------time skip-----------------------------------------

I reached my destination, at around 5 a.m. Taking off my jacket, I sat down and took a deep breath. I put my sketchbook on my lap, placed a hand on my stomach, and started my breathing techniques, breathing in for 4 seconds, holding the breath for 7 seconds, and exhaling for 8 seconds.

Whenever my life becomes too stressful, I go to a nature-y place to draw or doddle. I opened my sketchbook, took the pencil in my hand, and looked around to find some inspiration.

Suddenly something, or rather, someone, caught my eye. A rather handsome someone, he was tall, blond, and muscular, running around the park. I then saw his friend, sagging quite a bit behind his much faster friend. A quiet giggle escaped me, seeing how much his friend was struggling. To be fair, his friend was fit. Fast, and hot-'stop Raea don't catch feelings for someone you've just seen. You haven't even talked to him, for Odin's sake.' I scolded myself.

As the slower friend got closer to me, I saw him in better detail, he had a deep skin tone, short black hair, and brown eyes. I decided to start drawing him and his good-looking friend, though I focused more on the blond. I could feel my right shoulder starting to itch a bit, but I didn't mind it.

Some time went by before I looked up again, and the men were gone. A sad feeling washed over me. "You just saw them, Raea, calm down," I mumbled to myself.

Then, I felt a burning sensation on my right shoulder. I lightly rubbed it and held it for comfort. Suddenly, a low, husky laugh sounded behind me. "Is that me ?" The deep voice asked behind me.

I turned around quickly, before pulling my drawing close to my chest. When I looked up just then, my heart stopped. He was one of the strangers I had just sat gawking at, standing before me. Not just that, he was also my soulmate.

My lips parted, and I tried to get SOME ducking words out of my mouth. I just sat there, looking like a fish out of water. "Uh-m," I merely uttered. He started smiling at me, chuckling slightly.

The red tint covering my cheeks didn't help me hide how embarrassed I was. "No need to be shy, gorgeous, show it to me," he softly demanded with authority in his voice.

I turned my drawing slowly, so it faced him, and a cocky smile lined his face when he saw it. "Is that how you see me?" he asked me, and I nodded my head shyly. "Use your words, gorgeous," he told me dominantly. "Sorry," I apologized to him. I suddenly felt an overwhelming feeling of happiness wash over me. I knew in an instant that he just accepted our bond, and I don't know what came over me, but I accepted him back immediately. I hope I don't regret that decision.

A.N.

Feel free to correct any spelling mistakes.

-The Author,