thirty one - confession
With money in the wallet, Richie sets out on the long walk towards the main part of town. Went thought it would be good for him to get out of the house with a short shopping list while he was off at work. While making his way down the sidewalk, he kicked a pebble along to keep him company.
Richie realized that in the past three years all his old classmates graduated and left Derry behind. Not one soul from his 100-some person class remained. All went off to college, trade school, or just was fortunate enough to save up and move away. In a way, Richie was eternally grateful no one he once knew remained. It was as if the town had amnesia over the past and who the group were. Which could add to why Richie felt calmer about heading into town alone.
Once he got to one of the closest stores, he set off to fulfill the short list Went left for him.
Apples
Strawberries
Pain medication
Mustard / Ketchup
Men's socks
A small, amused smile crept up on Richie's face due to the variety of items the household needed. Maggie always did the shopping, had a nice neat list as well. Richie grabbed a basket and headed off.
All the items (plus a candy bar) left Richie with about $10 left. Went never explicitly said he wanted change, so Richie figured maybe he could keep the rest for himself. He sets off into the warm sunny afternoon with the paper bag in hand.
He was going to go home, trust, he was, but somehow the sidewalk bent in a direction that was not home, not to any house he knew, and not past the statue of Paul. It led him to where nature was not denied to exist and allowed to flourish. Where the road was bumpy with potholes and scattered rocks. To where a weathered bridge was.
Richie's eyes never failed to go to one area where the carvings were. Big and bold, screaming out to the world yes i exist! His heart pounds hard in his chest, feelings rising up to his throat. He feels sick to the stomach. Why does he feel sick? Two letters shouldn't be able to do this to him.
R +
"Eddie?"
Richie had turned around when he heard the sound of footsteps coming down the road. A boy came into view, brown hair looking golden in the soft glow of the sunlight. Richie didn't need a face to know who he was looking at. "Eddie!" He calls out again.
Pausing in the road, Eddie looks at Richie with a sort of surprised look on his face. For a moment, Richie had a fearing thought that Eddie would turn away and leave him alone in the street. But rather, the opposite happened.
Eddie approached, wearing clothes that Richie recognizes from the store when he and Went went shopping. Eddie had on another watch, but it wasn't some stupid calculator watch Richie would tease him on, (Richie doesn't need a calculator to do math. He has his head) rather it was a much nicer watch. Maybe from Bill's dad.. or Eddie's?
In a flash of a second, Richie remembers what he is standing next to. Two big and bold carved letters, two letters he used as a silent confession. Richie moves a step to the side. Eddie doesn't see anything.
"Whatcha doing here?" Richie asks.
"I could ask the same for you," Eddie shoots back.
"Just walking around. Dad had me pick up groceries." Richie lifts the bag, as if to show proof.
Eddie hums with a soft nod following. "Yeah, me too," he says, "just walking around."
A soft silence falls between the two boys. The buzz of bugs surrounds them, everywhere but no where all at the same time. A breeze flows past, out from the bridge and rolling through Richie's shirt. He sees Eddie bring his hands up to his arms, relieving the rising goosebumps.
"I can walk you home," Richie offers, "If that's where you're headed."
Eddie looks past Richie and down the path, through the bridge and farther into the brush. Richie, for a moment, feels a pang of rejection and wants to take back the words and let Eddie go on his merry way.
"Yeah." Eddie agrees, "Walk me home."
A smile pulls Richie out of the depths of a bad mood and he falls into a steady pace with Eddie, but not before the watch Eddie had on falls from his wrist with a snap and goes tumbling to the ground. Both boys turn and go for the watch. Eddie gets to it first and makes Richie retreat back, regretful of not being quicker or moving at all.
Eddie pauses for a moment before fully standing, but moves too quick for Richie to see what made the boy pause. They met eyes, but briefly. Eddie says that the stupid watch never stayed on correctly, that his dad - Frank - didn't know what size he was when he got the gift a year ago.
Eddie struggles to put the watch back on alone and Richie can't just stand there being useless. He brings his hands up to latch the watch on for Eddie and at first Eddie refuses. Richie looks at the boy and silently asks for him to allow Richie in. Eddie stares back, his eyes studying Richie for a moment before darting off to the side. Richie tries to follow his gaze but to no avail.
"Fine," Eddie says, giving in. "Make it quick."
Richie smiles and fixes the watch to fit Eddie's wrist. His picky sticks out, resting gently on the boys wrist as he pulls the two clasps together, falling into place with a soft click.
Eddie retracts his arm, shakes his wrist so the watch falls farther down his arm and he thanks Richie. The pair set off down the road.
Richie takes one last look at the bridge as the road curves and the leaves spilling out from beyond the fence crowd over the bridge, as if to hide away all its secrets. When he turns his head back around, Richie notices that Eddie is looking up at him.
"What were you looking at?" Eddie asks. There's a slight... hesitance to his question.
Richie shrugs. "Nothing." It was something.
Eddie nods his head. Richie, for a moment, thinks that Eddie might know. But there's no way.
His heart pounds in his chest and he feels his feet wanting to slow to a stop, but he keeps walking alongside Eddie, allowing the boy to make the pace. There's a question Richie wants to ask. A question that's been on the forefront of his mind since they were boys. Six years this question has been dancing on Richie's tongue, scattered in his jokes, left by his soft touch when he and Eddie's skin made contact.
Is it appropriate to still feel this way? Is it okay to still have the question? After everything?
With one glance, Richie decides the answer.
No. It's not okay.
YOU ARE READING
The End Of Us || losers club ✔️
Fanfiction"We did a fucked up thing, Eds," he says, watching as branches sway in the wind. "We did a fucked thing and I know sorry doesn't fix all we've done... I wish it never happened, Eds. I really, really do."
