The End Of Us || losers club ✔️

fourteen

Dear mom,

It's been a day. We're still at the motel. Ben got sick.

Eddie knows that I put in the address. He's not mad and he said he won't tell Mike. I don't think I could ever explain to anyone how much I appreciate Eddie. I feel like the worst person to ever exist for letting what happened happened. Eddie didn't deserve that. And I don't deserve Eds.

Are you going to write back? Eddie and Mike both say I'm wasting stamps. Maybe I am.

There's a lot that I think about, a lot that keeps me up at night. And I don't want to treat you and dad like my own therapists, but these letters are all I have, really. Anyway, I still really hope Bev and Bill and Stan are okay. What if they're still there? Waiting for us to come save them? Ben thinks the police found them. I think he should have a little in more faith in them.

And Sonia. That night won't leave my mind either.

I don't wanna talk about it. I'm not good at describing things but I feel so empty and gross and so so so scared when I think about that night. Maybe that's how Eddie felt when I brought up his dad. Maybe. I'm not sure.

There's a pool at this motel, and free breakfast, but Mike and Ben don't think it's a good idea to leave the room. I hear kids playing in the pool. They sound like they're having fun. I want to have fun again.

I miss Stanley. He was my best friend since second grade. You remember all the times he'd come over after school and I'd beg for him to stay the night? And you'd say no, because we had school the next day? I really miss being a kid. I don't think this is how kids are supposed to grow up.

I'm running out of room on the paper. Ben has been sleeping all day, but he's all red and hot to the touch. Eddie thinks he has the flu and hides on the other side of the room so he doesn't get sick. It's a small room, I don't think a few feet are doing much.

We're only going to stay for another night, depending on how Ben is doing. Please write back.

- Rich T