A Demon in your Mind

Getting to Know the Real You

One evening Bucky, who had just placed his latest creation, a small wooden dog, on the mantle, looked over at her, his curiosity and arguing thoughts finally got the better of him, "What's with your change in attitude? When we first got here you acted like you hated me. Said as much many times. Now you act like you actually care."

The woman was sitting on the bed, she curled her tail around her crossed legs and then let it fall down the side of the bed again, lightly thumping on the ground, "Your memories. When your brain uses them to create your nightmares I can see them. I saw what happened to you. I felt some of it too. You were an unwilling participant. I could tell. I felt the torment in your mind. How you watched yourself do all those things, unable to stop it. At the mercy of those that did that to you. Unable to defy orders."

Bucky blinked at her, he didn't fully understand how she could know all that, but part of him softened towards her. She had been a decent whatever she was after that first nightmare, and he began to wonder if he had misjudged her. He looked back at the fireplace, "You are right, I wasn't there willingly. They scrambled my brain over and over again. Trying to erase anything from before I was turned into the Winter Soldier." To his surprise he told her the whole story, from the moment he was captured during the war, to when he finished his year in Wakanda being deprogrammed.

She listened intently as he explained, not once did her gaze leave his form. He really wasn't sure what compelled him to tell her everything, whether it was the intense interest she was showing or the hint of trust he had begun to feel towards her, but he did feel better after he did. When he finished she sighed softly, "I am truly sorry that happened to you. Selfishness and greed makes beings do nasty things sometimes." He looked up at her, "You know, you aren't what I expected, demon." She met his gaze, "Atlia." He raised a brow, she continued, "My name. It's Atlia."

He hummed in response, a little surprised she had a name. Guilt creeped its way in, he never thought to even ask her. After a moment of silence he remarked, "Well, you aren't what I expected, Atlia." She curled her tail around her legs again, she liked the way her name sounded coming from a mortal, no mortal had ever used her name, not many gods did either for that matter, she held his gaze, "You were expecting an evil demon that sucks the life from humans with no remorse."

He cringed a little, the guilt surfacing again, rubbing the back of his neck he cleared his throat and replied, "Yeah...when everyone didn't wake up after you had been around them, it was easy to blame you. Even after we saw that shadowy thing and heard you yelling at it."

Atlia looked away, "Do you blame and hate the lion when it kills a zebra?" He arched his brow again, "What do you mean?" She sighed heavily, "Do you blame and hate the lion, when it kills a zebra?" His brow furrowed and replied hesitantly, "No." She looked back up at him, her voice low and serious, "Why?" He shrugged, "It's just a part of nature. Lions need to eat. To survive." He was beginning to understand what she was getting at.

She flicked her tail, it thumped hard on the ground, "Exactly. I am not the same as you, I am not the same as the gods. I am more like a lion than I am you. I don't get to choose what my nature is. I am a lesser daemon. I am what I am. How I was created is how I have to be."

Bucky walked over and sat beside her causing her to tense a little and give him an odd look, he had made a point to always stay beyond arm's length from her, making his sudden closeness odd. he spoke gently, the guilt he was feeling was obvious in his tone, "It wasn't fair of us to have blamed you for what happened. You were just trying to survive." Atlia cautiously nodded, "I never intended for harm to come to your friends. And if I could have disobeyed Hades, I never would have shown up at all. But I can't disobey an order of the gods. No more than a dog can disobey its owner. There would be punishment."