Reason

Chapter 15:

"Aubrey, honey. Wake up." Tony said from beside me. I was drenched in sweat and was grabbing the sheets as tight as I could manage.

I opened my eyes and looked around the room. It was dark except for the light that was shining in from the window. Everything was also in place. As it was always.

I took a deep breath. It was only a dream. Only a scary, real-feeling dream. My family was okay. Quinn and my mother were still dead. My father was still dead. Anthony was not here. My house was not on fire. I was not in a cemetery.

"Nightmare?" He asked, stroking my back. I nodded and laid my head on his shoulder, trying to control my breathing.

"I don't remember you ever having them." Tony said.

"I've never had one that bad before. I used to get them bad twelve years ago when I came here." I told him, linking our hands. I would need it. It was time to tell Tony what I did twelve years ago that I have regretted for so long.

My heart started to beat faster as I looked into Tony's eyes. His face was full of concern. But would it change to hatred and disgust once I told him? I didn't know. Tony was always so unpredictable and it scared me for what was going to happen.

"When you came here?" He asked, pulling me closer to his body. I wrapped my arms around his stomach and laid my head on his chest. I could hear his heartbeat. The steady thump-thump of it gave me strength. He always told me his heart was beating for me.

"Ok, Tony. I need to tell you something I should have told you a long time ago." I replied. I could feel Tony's eyes on me as I hugged him tighter. This could be the last time I hugged him.

"Ok." He said, stroking my hair.

I took a deep breath, taking my head off his chest and unlinking my arms from his stomach. I watched as he sat back and gave me a smile that melted my heart; my heart that was filled with darkness.

"I used to live in Atlanta, Georgia with my family. I had a mom, a dad and a sister, Quinn. You would have loved my mom and especially my sister Quinn. They were my favorite people in the world and at the time that was what I needed. We all knew how to bring each other up and bring joy to each other's lives. It was perfect." I replied, grabbing hold of Tony's hand, "But with everything perfect, there comes a flaw. My father. My father was angry. Angry all the time. It scared my sister and I. We didn't know how to deal with it."

Tony's hand gripped mine tighter and only love and support was etched on his face. It was the only thing keeping me going.

"My dad had always been angry. Ever since we were babies. My mom had to protect us from him because he would resort to using us as punching bags. We would all come away with bruises on our bodies; bruises that were hidden from sight. Dad was afraid of getting caught. So, he would threaten us with more beatings if we ever told. None of us ever did. We were all too afraid." I took a breath and continued, "I grew up always wearing long sleeves and jeans even in the summer. I didn't want to risk being caught. I was too afraid."

"Then I met Ian and he seemed to take the pain away. He could see how desperate I was to get away from my father and he used it to his advantage. He never cared but he showed that he did and that was all I needed. I was over at his house all the time because my house was just too painful to go to. He forced me to do things I didn't want to also because he knew I was too desperate to let him go. It was the most terrible relationship I had ever been in." I said, watching Tony's face.

"Quinn and I had to work extra jobs as well as my mom because my father could never keep a job. We did it to get away from my father too. It was the only way. Otherwise, we would have had so many more bruises than we already had." I said, "I hated my life, Tony. It was awful. I had a dad that beat me and a boyfriend who never cared for me. He just liked the pleasure I brought to him. I thought about killing myself so many times to get out of my misery but I just couldn't do it. My mom and sister would be left behind and that wouldn't be fair to them. I needed to stay alive for their sake."