Reason

Chapter 17:

"You rest easy." Ellie commanded, wheeling me the rest of the way out of the hospital. It was a beautiful day, something I would have enjoyed three days ago when my children were here with me. But they weren't. The police hadn't had any leads.

"I will try. You rest easy too, Ellie. You need it." I told her, looking at her defeated looking face. She looked down at the ground and scratched her nose.

I stood up from the wheelchair and grabbed Tony's hand. He entwined our hands together.

"See you." Ellie said not looking back at us. I watched as she walked into the hospital; the automatic doors closing behind her. I sighed.

Tony hugged me and put his head on top of my head. How much longer would I have before they found my kids? Brodie can't be without me for long because he is breastfed.

I felt my eyes tear up. He would die. I brought him into this world and I would be the cause of his death. My whole body shook. This was the worse pain. Even worse than my dad beating me. The pain of knowing your kids are alive but nowhere to be found.

It was like a knife to my heart. Each second was like another jab into one of my major arteries. Was I ever going to be happy?

Every time I thought I found happiness, there was something in the way. My dad, my uncle, and whoever was blackmailing me.

"Aubrey." Tony said, trying to soothe me. I grabbed onto his shirt for comfort but it didn't do anything. All I felt was hopelessness and nothing else. "Lets get you home."

Tony led me to his car; his hand on my back. I tried to wipe my tears but new ones just kept coming. Maybe the best way to handle the pain was to feel it and wait it out.

We got to his car and he opened up the passenger door for me. I slid into the front, hitting my head onto the head rest. I cried out in pain.

"What?" Tony exclaimed, his face laced with concern. I closed my eyes and let the pain pass. I took a deep breath and held up my hand.

"I'm fine. Let's just head home." I replied, closing the passenger door. I watched as Tony walked over to the driver's door and as he opened it. He got in and sat down, facing me.

"How are you really feeling?" Tony asked, grabbing my hand. I looked into his eyes. Did he feel the pain I felt?

"Terrible." I answered, putting my head in the hand I still had. Tony's hand went to my back and started to run circles on it. It was soothing. Almost like how my mom used to relieve the pain of my bruises with her touch.

"Exactly what I'm feeling. I'm glad I have someone to share that with. Its hard to carry such a burden as this by yourself." Tony said.

"I just want to be happy, Tony. That's all I have ever wanted. With my past, I never got that. That's why I have tried so hard to keep my secret a secret and tried to give Claire and Brodie what I never had." I explained in between sobs.

"We will be happy, Aubrey." Tony said, starting the car.

"I knew this would happen. The letter said it would. I just want my kids back." I cried.

"What letter?" Tony asked, putting his hands on the wheel and pulling out of the parking lot.

"The one in the envelope." I said, looking sideways at him. He looked at me with his eyebrows raised. "You remember the note?"

"Yeah. That was found in Allie's coat pocket?" Tony asked.

"Yes. Well, there was an envelope on our porch that had the picture, a letter and a DVD. I threw away the DVD." I told Tony.