Reason

Chapter 18:

I opened my eyes to a dark room. It only held one light that hardly illuminated the bed I was sleeping on and the small person that was standing next to it. I stood up, getting a sharp pain to the back of my head. I moved my hands to the back of my head and brought back blood. I sighed.

"Mommy?" I heard a small voice say. It was the small person next to the bed. I squinted my eyes, trying to get a good look at whoever had said that.

"Claire?" I asked; my heart leaping.

"It's me, mommy!" Claire screeched, jumping up on the bed with me. She hugged my neck and I kissed her cheeks. My baby was with me. She wasn't dead.

"Honey, can you tell me where Brodie is?" I asked, smoothing out Claire's hair. It felt dirty, just like her cheeks had felt.

"He is here. He is in that little bed over there." Claire said, pointing over to a corner in the room I was in. "I was a big helper, mommy, just like you said. But the man here, he was mean and wouldn't feed Brodie."

"Brodie was crying a lot, wasn't he?" I asked, standing up. My eyes went black and I couldn't see anything. My brain felt fuzzy and I almost toppled over.

My vision came back and I looked down at the pillow on the small bed. It was soaked with blood and ten stitches lay next to the spot filled with blood. Someone had taken out my stitches and tried to make me bleed to death.

My stomach was turning. I walked over to where Claire said Brodie was and I sat down on my knees. I tried feeling my way around the dark but all I felt was a cold, stone floor. I sighed in annoyance.

That's when I heard a cry. It came from the very corner of the room. I hustled over to the sound and found Brodie. I picked him up, tears immediately forming in my eyes. Both my children were alive. Thank God. We were going to make it.

Brodie was crying. I rocked him back and forth, getting a sudden smell of dried pee and poop. My stomach plummeted.

"Did the mean man let you go to the bathroom, Claire?" I asked, walking back over to the bed. I sat down and I felt Claire's gentle weight sit down on the bed next to me.

"No. I tried holding it, mom. I really did." Claire cried. I put my arm around her and kissed the top of her head. I tried wiping the tears from her eyes but they wouldn't dry.

"It's ok, baby. You aren't in trouble." I soothed her. Claire nodded and put her head on my arm. I could tell she was skinnier. Just by feeling her shoulders and her arms. She was bony and I knew that Brodie would be too.

I let tears fall from my face. This was all my fault. My children were starving in this place, wherever it was. The other children were probably too. Hopefully they were still alive.

I stared down at Claire and saw that she was asleep. Little puffs of air could be seen from her mouth and her eyes were shut.

I looked over at Brodie who was screaming. I fed him and he immediately became quiet. My heart began to hurt. Everything in me hurt. My kids were fine but what about the others? I would never be able to forgive myself if they died.

I laid back, resting my back on the wall behind me. I looked around the room, trying to find a door, anything that could signal that we could escape. But I found nothing. It seemed as if we had been sealed in. Never to see the light of day again.

"Claire?" I asked, shaking her gently to wake her. I needed answers. Claire was the only way.

"Yes, mommy?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and sitting up.

"Did you stay in this room the whole time that you were here?" I asked, looking into the eyes of my daughter whom I loved so much. Seeing her this way was so hard. I would give anything to have them ok and for me to be the only one being hurt. It was too familiar. I always wanted pain inflicted on me instead of pain inflicted on my loved ones.