Reason

Chapter 23:

The next few days went by in a blur. I had many people come visit me and express their thanks. I spent the remaining time I had with Claire. There was no other way I wanted to spend my time. After you thought someone you loved died, you wanted to make sure that you could spend all your time with them and not to waste a single moment. You never knew when they could be ripped from your grasp again.

I stayed mostly in my hospital bed, listening to news about my uncle and how he was being charged. His trial hadn't started but it was assumed that he was being charged with crimes against humanity which resulted in the death penalty. There was more than enough evidence to support the claim and he was must likely going to face it, along with the doctor.

In my mind, I had completed what I had set out to do. I didn't want to kill my uncle, it wasn't in my nature anymore. But I did want him to be brought to justice. I owed that to everyone. His prisoners, my children, and my friends children. I just didn't feel any better. I felt the same as when this whole thing hadn't even started. My heart felt the same and I had the same feelings which was strange. Weren't you supposed to change through something tough? Or learn something about yourself or the world? I felt I hadn't learned anything. I was the same Aubrey, living the same life.

I looked out the small window of the hospital room I was in. Light was pouring into the room and it caused me to squint. Other than that, it was beautiful. In fact, it was one of the most beautiful sunrises I had ever seen. Maybe what was different wasn't me, but how I viewed the world. Before all of this, I was careful and didn't necessarily care much about the little things. They were a routine and I was used to them. But when everything changed, I could feel myself looking at things through different eyes. The sunrise was more beautiful, the hospital bed a little more comfortable, the sound of the nurses voices in the hall did not seem to bother me as much as it used to. It was all strange but exciting to get used to.

I looked down at my lump of a leg and examined the bandages around it. It was bandaged tightly together, squeezing my thigh inwards. It was still painful but I was on enough meds so that the pain would go away. The doctor let me see what had happened. Some kind of metal had pierced its way through my leg after the blast. She said it was so deep that she was surprised it didn't disrupt any major artery or bone. It was a miracle.

Even all of the children escaped from the facility without a scratch. I and Ariel were the only ones effected. I still cried myself to sleep at night because of her death. Her death would forever haunt me. I was the reason for her death and it killed me. Her funeral was today and I debated whether I was going to go. Her mother and father would be there as well as her brother and her family members. My group of friends would also be there, waiting for an explanation based on where their children were. They were already nagging and trying to get into my hospital room, demanding for answers. I said I didn't want visitors and so there were none. Tony let me know of my friends trying to get a word to me but I never responded. I was too broken inside of me to deal with anyone right now. Who knows what they would think of me. I wasn't ready for that; not after what I went through.

"Ready to go?" Tony asked, opening the door to the room. I nodded and watched as he walked into the room, wheeling a wheelchair in front of him. A nurse was behind him with a smile on his face. He walked up to me and unhooked me from my IV's.

"You are all set to go." He stated.

"Ok. Thank you." I replied, pulling the sheets from my body and pushing myself to the edge of the bed. Tony helped me out of the bed and into the wheelchair, trying to be as gentle as possible. I smiled and tried to hide it. He was exactly what I needed.

The nurse had left while Tony was helping me into the wheelchair, leaving us to be the only ones in the room. The emptiness of the room felt foreign and I wanted the company of my children. But they were with Renee and Todd, out somewhere having a fun time while I sat, debating. When had my world became something of a debate? Couldn't life just point me to the right direction? Why did choices have to be so hard?