Reason

Chapter 19:

When I was 17, my uncle Anthony met a woman. I could tell he loved her but not in a good way. He was so controlling and wanted so much power over her that if she did anything that upset him, she would get beaten. It was terrible. Her name was Jaci. Jaci had blonde hair and warm, blue eyes. She had a smile that could light up any room.

Quinn, mom and I loved her. We loved having her around and talking to her. She seemed like such a light in the darkness of our reality. But some lights eventually dim.

Jaci tried to get away from Anthony, every chance she got but he always found her and always beat her worse. It got to the point where we would never see her but Anthony still came over. He always had the wicked smile and his control over things.

In the summer of my 17th year, my mom decided that she was going to help Jaci escape. She wanted better for her because she felt it was her fault that Jaci was in that relationship. So, she came up with a plan.

One night my mother broke into Anthony's house and tried looking for her. Jaci was nowhere to be seen. My uncle didn't have a huge house either. He was in the same boat as my father.

She kept looking until she got to his bedroom. It smelled like something decaying and rotten. She put her hand over her nose and looked into his bedroom.

There Jaci laid with bruises all over her body. Her neck was cut and the carpet around her head was soaked with blood. My mom puked.

After all she had done, there was no way that she could have saved her. Jaci's light had already dimmed.

It seemed that my light, however dim it was then, was going to burn out. I had a gun to my head and my children screaming. My whole body was sweating. It felt nasty.

Did all Anthony do was kill? Did he actually enjoy it? What kind of sick minded person was he?

"Go ahead and kill me just like you did Jaci." I said, looking him right in the face. Anthony's features changed and his whole body stiffened. He dragged the gun away and put it back into the drawer.

"How do you know about Jaci?" He asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He studied me with an intense stare that made me feel very uncomfortable. I shifted in my seat.

"I would have to imply that after all those months of not seeing her, that you had done something to her. My best guess was you killed her. Just like your dogs, my grandparents, and Ruby." I said, looking up at the doctor. He still had the syringe poking at my neck. He had an evil smile just like Anthony. He must've replaced my father when he had died.

"You are right. I did kill her. I slit her throat and watched as she bled to death. That woman deserved it though, after all of the times she ran away from me. That was the only way I could make her stay." Anthony said, sitting down in his chair.

This all seemed like a nightmare. I knew that Anthony had killed Jaci and how but I never would have believed that I would be hearing it coming from his mouth. He seemed to talk about it so easily like killing people wasn't such a big deal or like people did it all the time. But they didn't.

I knew right then that I would die here. It was the only way. Anthony would torture me and torture me until I was dead to get back at me for killing his idol.

It was odd because I didn't feel any pain. I had gotten what I wanted in life, right? I had a wonderful husband, two kids and a stable home life. I loved them all dearly but I was ready to die. My legacy was finished. I had told everyone that was close to me what I had done? Wasn't that good enough?

A part of me still felt that I had to become someone great. I wasn't there yet though, not even close. Did I want to die or did I want to become great? Did I want to be remembered for giving up?