Reason

Chapter 25: Epilouge

My uncle died today. After thirty long years of him, he was dead; shot by the firing squad and his body cremated. He didn't have any family except me and I didn't want to throw a funeral for him. It didn't seem right. So, his ashes were thrown out at sea, never to be remembered but for what he did to so many people.

The police went through everything that was at the facility. Files, desk drawers, the torture devices and found nothing but evidence that counted against him. The jury unanimously found him guilty and he was given the ultimate punishment.

I was allowed to look through the documents and files to see what I could find. There was nothing interesting but my aunt Ruby's name was in one of the files. Her picture and pictures after each torture part were shown. I had to look away from her burned body at picture four. Part three was burning the victim's alive and seeing how much burning they could take before they became unconscious. The doctor never followed the rules so bodies were fully burned and the victims were dead. It was all so disgusting.

My uncle had managed to kill one thousand people without the local officials even knowing. They could never piece together how people just came up missing. They were just so hard to track and so my uncle got away with it.

After all of this, Tony and I considered moving. Our family had been through so much and he believed we needed a fresh start; a way to get away from the cameras and the news people who were constantly in our faces. We talked about it for so long, it became an argument that came into almost every conversation we came to. We could never decide because I wanted to stay and he thought it was a good idea to move. Ranglewood was my home and his and it had been stable for such a long time. I did not want to put my family through the act of moving and the process of meeting all new people from a different town. It was just a another stress factor. We were all stressed as it was. We didn't need anymore. So, we stayed and tried to get through the hard times together.

Claire was having the hardest time out of all of us. She cried herself to sleep at night and wouldn't fall asleep until Tony or I were in her room, making sure that my uncle never came. She had nightmares too and always woke up. Her eyes looked sleep deprived and her body looked done with everything. We took her to therapy; my little daughter of only three. It was the only thing we could think of that maybe could help her. For the most part it did. She was sleeping better but wasn't exactly herself yet. I knew that she would come back.

Brodie continued to be a happy baby like he always was. He didn't seem so traumatized by what happened. Instead he seemed calmer and more happy. It was as if he knew that the bad was gone and the good would be here for him.

Tony stayed being the most amazing husband there could ever be. He was supportive and helped me when I myself went through a panic attack. He encouraged the kids to play and have fun so that they could continue being kids and to not grow up right away because of what happened. He steered us away from the publicity and kept our normal family routines so that we continued to have the same schedule. He also loved us as much as he always did but tried to show it a bit more. It was a kiss there, a hug here and even gifts to keep us all going. If it hadn't been for him, we would have all died from depression or anxiety attacks.

I on the other hand tried my best to be the same. I always was on alert now and was afraid that my uncle had some how escaped his punishment and decided to come for me again. I found myself looking over my shoulder or turning all the lights on in my house; the same thing I did so many years ago. The same fear was still in me and it never would go away. Fear never does.

Being a stay home mom helps a ton. I get to spend time with my kids that I wouldn't have deemed precious if it weren't for what happened. I tried to show how much I cared for them and tried to get Claire out of her misery. It took her awhile but I started to see her smile again and her enthusiasm. It brought tears to my eyes.

I also thought about my mom, sister, dad and uncle a lot after all this happened. Their images and memories came flooding back to me very often. I could see my mom teaching us how to drive or my sister telling me of her boy troubles. I could see my father coming home exhausted and suddenly getting angry for some odd reason; perhaps no reason at all. I saw my uncle and Jaci, smiling at their first part of their relationship.

Through all of this, I didn't think I ever forgave anyone. I didn't want to. Who would want to forgive the person who left you or who beat you or who tortured you? Was it even practical? I had been so so so bitter for so long, that I was exhausted by it. I couldn't continue my life by hating people all the time. It wasn't the right thing to do. But forgiveness was a big thing and often it is hard to do. Most people find they can't forgive because they are hurting inside too much. They become bitter just like me and hurt others. They feel they have a weight on their shoulders and that weight is that they never gave that person a chance. They just looked at the bad things they had done and gone from there. Wouldn't this world be a better place if we all forgave? That's why it was so hard. People didn't want to because it didn't seem right. They wanted that person punished. But it always ends up making the other person feel terrible. Forgiveness was what people needed. It was what I needed.

So, I forgave my dad for what he had done to me for so long. I forgave my uncle for what he had done to so many people including me and I forgave my mother who had left me alone with my father and my uncle.

And you know what I learned? In order for anyone to become someone great, you needed to learn how to forgive.