1000 jokes to make you laugh

101-200

Yeah that's right I'm doing 100 at a time now :)

101. My job is secure. No one else wants it.

102. Nothing ruins a Friday more than realizing that today is Tuesday.

103. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

104. Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.

105. What kind of horses go out after dusk? -- Nightmares!

106. Stop worrying about your job, you're not paid enough to worry.

107. If you don't work you don't have money to live, if you work, there's no time to live.

108. How long have I been working for the company? Ever since they threatened to fire me.

109. It's better to do business with a drunk professional than a sober idiot.

110. People who do the world's real work don't wear ties.

111. Tell your boss what you think of him, and the truth shall set you free.

112. A well-educated friend of mine with three advanced degrees can say "I'm unemployed" in six languages.

113. Life is scary; at least the salary is funny.

114. A healthy nap not only makes you feel better, it also shortens the workday.

115. The Irish gave the bagpipes to the Scots as a joke, but the Scots haven't got the joke yet.

116. What do you call an Irishman who knows how to control a wife? -- A bachelor.

117. What's blue and fluffy? Pink fluff holding it's breath

118. Why do you always find things in the last place you look? Duh!

119. Laziness is when a person doesn't fake that he's working.

120. Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job.

121. I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?

122. Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot

123. All I want is less to do, more time to do it, and higher pay for not getting it done.

124. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

125. What do dim lamps and blondes have in common? They both tend to be hot, but not too bright.

126. George washington said "We would have a black president when pigs fly!" Swine flu?

127. If you worked hard and didn't get anything in return, it means someone else got it.

128. What does a mathematician do when he's consitpated? -- He works it out with a pencil

129. An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

130. How to you wake Lady Gaga? Poke 'er face.

131. Why doesn't it matter how often a married man changes his job? He still ends up with the same boss.

132. You have to be flexible to work here. On many occasions, you'll be asked to bend over and grab your ankles.

133. I don't work weekends, or any other day that ends in Y.

134. Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?

135. My resume is just a list of things I hope I never get asked to do.