I Want

Chapter 15

~Harry~

I watch as she leaves the bus for practice. The tingling sensation she left with her bright red lips. I put my face in my heads and think. How much longer can I do this with her? She's changed completely from the moment I laid eyes on her till now. I remember when we first met. She was shy, innocent yet confident. Now she's confident, seductive, and carefree. I love her very much but how much longer till our relationship is over? I can't see myself without her.

I can't give her everything she wants. Somehow I still buy her everything she wants. She drives me insane all the time. I get up from where I sit and leave the bus to see her practice for tomorrows show. As I enter the arena, I hear her sing a song I've never heard.

"When I wake up

You're the first thing that comes to mind

Wanna see you like all the time

Yeah we be loving so hard

When I wake up

You're the first thing that comes to mind

Wanna see you like all the time

Yeah we be loving so hard..." I'm pretty sure she's never sang this song. I stare at her as she continues to sing. I leave the stage and go back to the bus. I enter out room we share for the entire tour. Walking over to her desk, I see music sheets with lyrics on them. I read a small section of each song until I find the one I'm looking for. I grab a different sheet and read the lines. The lyrics on this sheet are the exact same one as she sang on stage.

Lovin' So Hard by: Nicole Hudson

I flip the sheet over to the back only to see writing on the back.

The moment I laid eyes on him, I knew I would fall hard. Words can't describe how much I love him with all my heart. Words also can't describe how much it would break him if he found out that I slept with someone else while he was on tour a couple months ago.

As I read the line over and over again, I could feel my heart crumble in tiny bits of pieces. I closed my eyes and took a deep breathe as I continued reading.

Harry Styles. That's his name. His name suits him somehow. His chestnut curly hair. His amazing green eyes. His very pink lips that are always so smooth. His angelic voice when he sings. Everything about him made me fall for him.

When I first met him, I thought that he was out of my league. I was shy and innocent. He was playful, confident and extremely attractive. The more we hung out, the more I fell for him. When he asked me to be his girlfriend 2 years ago, I felt very happy , yet at the same time sad. My career had just taking off and I released my first album. I was going on tour.

My manager showed me to get everything I want. When I came back from tour, he came to pick me up from the airport. The way he held me tightly, lovingly and happily . I knew that from the moment there, I would fall hard for him. I had promised myself that I wouldn't fall in love with him. Of course I broke my own rules and fell in love with him.

I can never see myself without him. He's my light. He has my heart. My trust. My love. And most importantly. My body. He was my first kiss. My first time. My first love. When I slept with someone else while he was on tour, I knew that I would lose him the minute he found out. I guess when he finds out, I have to deal with a heartbreak. I've only experienced more than once.

Just so I remember. I never cheated on Harry because I didn't love him. I went to a party with a couple of friends and they wanted for me to get over Harry while he was on tour. I got hella shitfaced and the next morning. I woke up next to a random guy. I'll never forgive myself for what I did.

Never.

I read the last word she wrote. The sheet in my hands as I went back to the arena. I went on the stage and saw that she wasn't there anymore. I stormed off the stage and to her dressing room. There she sat humming a song. A familiar song. She started to sing the lyrics to Half A Heart.

"And who were these so called friends that got you shitface and cheated on me while I was on tour?!" I yelled at her from a distance. She stopped singing and froze. Slowly, she turned to face me.

"How did you find out?" She whispered. She didn't dare to look at me directly in my eyes.

"The backside of your song" I threw the paper at her and it fell on the ground.

"Harry. It was mistake. I never meant to sleep with someone else. It even said on the paper. I don't think about it because I don't want to feel guilty every time I see you. I wanted to be happy and forget about it. Look, I'm so sorry. I regret cheating on you. I really do. I just can't loose you Harry. Okay. I love you so much" She finally looked up and saw that her eyes were glossy. Tears were threating to fall.

"Well that's exactly what you get" Her eyes went wide. I turned around to leave the room only to have her grab my wrist.

"Harry, please don't do this" She said her voice cracking. I turn to face her and saw tears on her cheeks. I yanked my arm from her grip and left the room. I stood next to her dressing room door as I heard a thump on the ground. I hear her sobbing. Tears fall out of my eyes as well.

"I guess we over" I whispered and left.

I enter the bus and go straight to the bedroom. I grab my duffle bag and throw all my stuff in there. After all my stuff is packed, I leave the room and look for a bunk bed. I find an empty one. I kept my duffle bag in her room. I grab my laptop and search for plane tickets back to New York. I purchase one. Searching for the time, I grab my duffle bag from her room and leave the bus. I decided to go away from the tour a bit.

I call a cab to take me to the airport. The cab driver parks in front of the airport. I get out of the cab and flashes shine on my eyes. Security guards come to my side and help pass all the paparazzi. My name is being repeated over and over again as I continue walking to my gate. I reach the gate I'm suppose to be at and hand my ticket to the lady.

I take a seat and wait for boarding. I look through my photos only to see most of the photos on my phone are of me and Nicole. I decided not to delete them.

"Gate 17, flight to New York is now boarding. I repeat gate 17, flight to New York is now boarding" Some random person says through the speaker. I pick my stuff up and start walking to the plane.

I get on the plane and look for my seat. I sit down where my seat is and wait for the plane to take off. Minutes pass and I finally feel the plane taking off. While the plane is taking off, I look out the window. I'm still hurt of the though Nicole sleeping with a different guy. I know running away isn't the best way to solve your problems, but sometimes that seems like the best choice in your mind.

Knowing if I would have stayed at the bus with Nicole after our break up, I would have lost it. She probably isn't doing much better than I am. I mean, come on. How do you expect to still be happy after being together for 2 year. No one could. Unless your heartless and never gave a damn about your partner.

I feel like if I go back to New York, I could clear my head from the events that took place earlier today. Just because we broke up doesn't mean I don't love her anymore. I still do, but I don't know if I could forgive her for this. I never did anything to her that could cause us to break up. I know I still have to perform with the lads but right now I can't see myself performing knowing Nicole is watching me.

Every time I leave the stage after I perform, she always runs up to me hugs me, kisses me and tells me I did an amazing job. Now the were broken up, it would be awkward not doing that anymore. Like said before.

How much longer could I have done that with her?

Not much longer, that's for sure

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Oh no! They broke up! They were my OTP. What I have plan for this story is amazing. It's not gonna be random like my last two stories. I have this all planned out.

Love you Ash