There's Just Hope // Lottienat

Chapter 9

I woke to a couple strange things. Firstly, still thick in the fog of sleep, i was made aware of the perpetual start of this month's collective cycle. "Good your awake." Van tossed a rag that landed promptly on my face. I scrunched my nose in confusion while removing it. "Blood demons back hungrier than ever. We're all synced." I groaned propping myself up, my body still heavy. Scanning the room i then noticed i was the only the only body of two left in the cabin asleep. Jackie lay curled under blankets, more mound than a person as she shielded the light from her face with the covers. The only indication of her identity being her thin gold necklace left visible on the back of her neck. "Is someone gonna wake her up?" I asked Van.

She merely shrugged and so i let it go. Walking outside the cabin i was met with the organised chaos of the period aftermath. "Gross." i mumbled while Van pushed my shoulder playfully. "Well what would you suggest we do Scatorccio?" 

"Collectively agree never to bleed again?" 

She scoffed. "Wouldn't that be the dream." 

My brows furrowed at the ever present smile she wore this morning. "What's got you so chipper anyway? Blood demons let you off the hook this month?" Her grin grew as she shifted her gaze upon me. "No i just find this whole situation amusing." 

"Says the first person ever in a life or death situation." We shared a laugh. And then i became aware of the third strange thing about the morning. "Van wheres Lottie?" 

"You seem to be asking that a lot these days." She said playfully as she met my glare. 

"We're friends Van- so ye i care that she hasn't drowned or something." 

Van scoffed a laugh "Ya right, since when are you and Lottie Matthew's friends?"

"Since when are you and Talia Turner friends?"

Her teasing expression hardened and a silence followed. 

"That's what i thought." i grinned before looking back out at the group and letting out a sigh "I'm gonna go look for her."

I was always better at caring for others than myself. It gave me purpose; something i was desperately seeking since the crash. And it shielded me from my own issues. Though Van was right this action didn't extend to many and i wasn't sure exactly how Lottie became one of those people. But there i was walking around the woods idiotically once again. I furrowed my brows in accordance to the discomfort from the seeping rays of sun between the trees. I wiped the sleep from my eyes and made my way to the lake. The place i had found her last. 

Entering the clearing the strange morning grew stranger. Lottie stood in her pyjamas waist deep in the lake. "Lottie?" I breathed out, more emotion seeping into my tone than i wished. She stayed motionless, looking out across the water thoughtfully. That clouded look in her eyes once more. "Are you not cold?"

"It is colder than i thought it would be." She said as she glazed her fingers through the water letting the sleeves of her pyjamas fall and soak up the liquid. I moved closer to her. As close as i could before the water met the shore. "Why don't you come over here and dry off." I suggested, trying desperately to mask my concern. Her movements were slow but she listened, making her way over to me. When she grew close enough i reached out my arm to place on her shoulder comfortingly. "Jesus." I let out, moving my hand up swiftly to the bare skin of her cheek to confirm my judgment. "Lot your freezing!"

She didn't speak but her brown eyes were soft. A child that had just seen the unspeakable. I wished so dearly to know what she was thinking. What she had seen. I moved her farther from the water my arm around her waist in hopes of sharing my warmth. I sat her down as i kneeled in front of her. "Here take that off." I instructed as i helped her lift her long sleeve up. I tossed it aside before shuffling out of my jacket and wrapping it around her. She slipped her arms in before hugging herself tightly. I sighed as my concern for her physical wellbeing subsided and her greater problem came to the forefront. "Lottie what is going on?"

She looked at me for the first time. Her expression charted with shame. "Please Lot." I pushed, placing my hand above her knee encouragingly. "It's happening." she muttered.

"Your... seeing-"

"Yeah." She inhaled deeply before continuing. "I just have such... bad feelings. And i'm scared for some of you." 

"For who?"

"Van...Taissa... you. I just, i haven't seen this stuff since i was 6 and i'm trying to fight it but i just feel like i'm going crazy."

"Hey!" My hand found it's place on her cheek. "Your not crazy." She leaned into my touch and i melted at the action. "We're going to be okay." She retracted from my hand with this, shaking her head. "No Nat you don't understand. This place. This place it's bad for all of us." She grew panicked again. "Lottie!" I grab her attention once more. "We'll get through this."

"Your not listening." she pleaded, her brown eyes beginning to accumulate tears. "Then tell me." i begged "What are you seeing?" The brunette merely shook her head in response before letting it hang loosely in shame. I sighed at the action and began to shift to sit beside her, holding my knees to my chest. 

"I feel like i'm losing myself." she let out softly and i looked to find her timid eyes taking in the landscape. I took a moment to think. I was never good with words but i could tell i needed to be in this moment. A decent had fallen upon everyone since the crash. Common sense fading from each of us. Some slower than others. But Lottie's was hastened with the absence of her meds. It wasn't her fault. You could see her desperation in preserving herself. 

"We all are." i started "Whatever your seeing... you can tell me and i'll listen." She met my eyes with this. "If you tell me the water is dangerous i'll never swim in it again, if you tell me a deer is poisoned i won't eat it and if you tell me the sun will burn me i'll never leave the cabin." 

"Really?" She asked softly

"I will do anything you tell me to Lottie." 

A weak smile succumbed her and i couldn't help but mimic the gesture. 

"You must be pretty obsessed with me huh?"

"What?" i blurted out; confused with the shift in atmosphere and confused with the statement itself.

"Always chasing me to this lake." she continued

"Well you keep running off!" 

"You don't have to follow."

"You could get eaten by a bear for all i know." She chuckled at this, letting the coy grin that tugged on her lips break. "Your so full of yourself Matthews." i scoffed. "And your so short tempered- its funny really." I rolled my eyes as her smile grew and i stood up. "I'm leaving now." A loud laugh escaped her as she began to stand with me. "See!" 

"No don't follow me!" She paused with her giddy grin still playing on her lips. "Are you serious?" 

"Yes i'm serious don't follow me!"

"You want me to stay at the lake?" she questioned quirking a brow

"Yes!" A pause was held momentarily and I provided one final glare before turning to walk back to the cabin. A beat passed and then i rolled my eyes with sounds of hurried footsteps trailing behind me. "Oh look who's chasing after who now." 

"Your so full of yourself Scattorcio." She said mockingly and although i tried, i couldn't fight the smile that escaped me.