Love me better [Fyolai Highschool Au]

Decision Day

The week passed like it was never gonna pass and still Friday arrived sooner than Fjodor wished. Those past few days had felt like the years when his father was still in a coma. Burdened but free. Guilty but safe. It was an awful chaos of good and bad feelings, all mixed together to the point where you didn't know what you actually should feel.

This Friday however was no rollercoaster but a single free fall. A free fall where he didn't know if there was a net underneath or not. He felt sick.

As his father was a renowned lawyer, he had seen a court hall from time to time. Those very luxurious ones you see in movies, with stuccoed ceilings, fancy chandeliers and a big audience.
The reality however was disillusioning. Not that Fjodor cared anyway, but sitting in this clean room with flat grey desks, grey chairs, grey walls and big windows surely wasn't what he had expected.

He didn't remember much from the trial. All the words just passed his brain in and out. His lawyer did almost all the talking. Nikolai was sitting on the bench in the back, next to Fjodor's mother and Dunja, as well as Nikolai's parents. His father sat, or mostly stood, across from him. Fjodor tried to keep his eyes on his hands, especially when his father was talking. He did a good job defending himself.

His mother and Dunja had to describe how they experienced Fjodor's childhood and the relationship to his father. Nikolai had to describe all the events where he had met that man and all the times he experienced Fjodor's reaction to other encounters without him. His father had given up on the idea of making Nikolai the 'villain' but instead tried explaining himself as the helpless victim. As a helpless father just trying to deal with an aggressive and difficult child. He denied all sexual abuse, only admitted he might have hit him a bit hard sometimes. If Fjodor hadn't been so frightened, he would have laughed at that.

When it was Fjodor's turn to give his testimony, he slowly sat down on the chair in the middle. All eyes were pointed on him. He could feel his father's dark purple eyes branding him from the side. His mind was filled with the memories he was about to speak out loud, again, he just needed to repeat what he had said to the police officer. It was just telling facts. Nothing more. He closed his eyes and grabbed his own shoulders, like a lonely hug.

"The plaintiff is obliged to make his testimony now." His father's voice echoed through the room, through Fjodor's ears. As if he was the judge. The actual judge was a middle aged woman with small glasses and short brown hair. "I... can't... I..." It was like someone choked him, every single word was a fight. "You can't do what?", his father asked. "Accuse your father of something he isn't guilty of? Then say the right thing."

No! No, no, no!

Tightly he shut his eyes closed as if he could escape the situation this way. His mind was occupied by one thought only. I want to get away. Just out of here. But what would happen then? His lawyer then rose his voice. "Would it be possible to get a small break for my client?" Through his barely opened lashes he could see the judge nod. "Approved. The trial will continue in twenty minutes."