"You know what? Everything....every bad thing that is happening to me is because of you and your lack of empathy and consideration. Always doing what you feel like in the moment. Not thinking about the pain you cause the people around you. Always so...
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Nyx pov:
As soon as we left the bath we went into bed, I was warm now but I still felt cold. I was shivering and Liam holding me was my anchor to not feel like my heart might stop any time from now.
I still couldn't feel my fingers so Liam helped me with the hot chocolate the maids made. I was given some out-of-the-oven bread, it was milky and sweet better than the oats I am used to. I felt warm and fuzzy with this kind of treatment.
A very well-deserved treatment after being stuck in the freezer for more than thirty minutes. "Um, I love this." This had to be one of the best moments. I was still enjoying myself when the door opened again this time my mom walking in.
She hasn't come to see me hours after the freezer. She smiled while closing the door. "I'm glad to see you two doing better." She didn't even ask if I was okay. I like being asked if I am okay. I like it when someone cares for me and growing up striving for it makes me crave it even more, especially from her but now I need to take it out of my head.
"I didn't like what you did." I didn't specify but I hoped she knew what I was saying exactly.
"The most important thing is that you two are doing better." She smiled before leaving as if I had said nothing to her. I hugged Liam harder, feeling like crying once again.
"She almost killed me but she doesn't care." Not like she ever did. I made myself believe she did when she actually didn't and it was all in my head because she would only care if I did what she wanted.
I would have never realized any of this if I had never met Liam. He showed me how to be cared for without anything in return. No matter the mistake I make he brushes it off as if it's a human thing to do and not something to be ashamed of. After how I treated him on our date I thought he would never speak to me but he stayed.
He has been patient with me, he has seen me and tried to accept me even after I told him I would always want to please my mother. At that time...no even now she is the only friend I have and her paying attention to me has always been everything to me.
"Did she just walk out without asking how you were feeling?" Liam asked, anger evident in his voice. He looked at me and sighed, pulling me closer. "It's okay baby...I'm here."
"I will be okay." I smiled but hid something behind it. It still hurt that she didn't and I don't know how I should get over the attachment I have to her because I would miss something like this and try harder so I can get asked, 'Are you okay?'
"Is there anything I can do?"
I shook my head. "You're already doing enough." I just needed to be strong and fight my conflicting thoughts and feelings. "Should we watch a Disney movie? We never got to it last time."
"You said you didn't stay up long enough for movies."
"Yes, but the silence is killing me." I don't want to think any more than I am because now it's getting to the point where I am worried about disappointing him when I can't fight my mother. Those are not the kind of thoughts I need right now.
"Okay...what movie?" He asked, grabbing his phone.
"Your favorite."
"Animation or live action?" He asked, biting his bottom lip to hide his excitement.
"Your favorite." I laughed, not helping at all but he should choose the thing he likes. I want to see if I will like it too. "Let it be funny though, I need a good laugh."
"Let's watch The Lion King it's my favorite."
"Okay." This got me extremely excited, watching his favorite film.
Liam put on The Lion King and just the beginning got me captivated. When Mufasa died I held my heart, almost tearing up. "Scar is a bitch for that but keep watching I promise it gets better." Liam reassured me.
The movie went on, the music was relieving but there was a certain song that got Liam singing, 'Hakuna Matata'. I looked at him while laughing.
I laughed while nodding my head following the beat. It was indeed a catchy song...I followed the movie and it was captivating, my eyes could barely leave the screen. By the time the movie ended, I was over the moon. The best movie I have ever watched and Liam made the experience great. "Wow, it's been a long time since I saw a movie this great."
"The Lion King is a classic. I'm glad you like it." Liam said, snuggling closer to me.
"The best." There were no words to describe it. "Watch it again?"
He laughed. "Now?"
I nodded "Do you have any movie better than this one? This movie is like pizza, what movie is gonna beat it?"
He hummed. "Iron man? It's technically not Disney."
"Iron Man...what?" I sat up glancing at him. I decided to not judge. "Okay, let's try it."
He shook his head with a smile, like he knew I would like it better. He played the movie. I leaned over him picking up the snacks as the movie started. "Violence." I hummed while crunching on the snack. "Oh that's a cool suit." I leaned back to Liam. "Does it mean I'm gay? I am actually attracted to him."
"You could be bisexual." He shrugged. "He's hot."
"I know like..." I opened my mouth, at the way he walked. His suit going on was like drool-worthy. "Yeah...I think bisexual is the word." The girl is like hot too.
"I'm bisexual too...if it makes you feel any better."
"Did you know all along?" I asked my eyes completely submerged in the movie I couldn't even look at him. The first time I had relaxed enough and enjoyed a movie in such a long time.
"Somewhat...that night I went to Balemont is the night my bisexuality was confirmed."
"Huh...oh my god." I wanted to ask more yet the movie took my attention and I ended up ignoring him for the entire movie. I glanced back at him with a smile then remembered I ignored him. "Sorry...you were saying?"
He shook his head with a small smile on his face. "What did you think about the movie?"
"So good...should we start another one?" I was ready to binge-watch anything for the day.
"Beauty and the Beast?"
"Let's go" And with this, we binge-watched movies left and right. I snacked on everything I could get my hands on until my stomach hurt. We were alternating between some action and some animated movies, the worst one was a romance movie.
Didn't like it...it bored me I almost fell asleep but then another animation came on, 'Cars' I woke up with that one. The comedy one was also good. 'The Hungover' I laughed the whole way through.
And by evening I could barely keep my eyes open and I fell asleep in Liam's arms. I finally had some sleep. I didn't sleep because of pain but instead because of contentment.
Dear Diary Today I start my healing and growth journey. For the first time, I didn't think about my mom after disobeying her. I still have a long way, but with Liam, I am already finding my place. The place I have been searching for my whole life, the place where I want to stay forever.
