People wear masks, keep their guard up,
and act as if everything is rosy in their lives.
I inhaled one last puff of my cigarette as I stood in the dark alley, watching closely as the stars were slightly disappearing behind the deep, dark, and misery filled clouds. I threw the cigarette on the ground and crushed it with my foot watching the once red and orange ash fade to as black as charcoal. I stared at the ground for a few seconds before looking back up to the sky only to be met by a crystal cold rain drop land on my cheek. I brought my hand to my cheek lightly brushing off the drop of water. I sighed knowing the walk home would be a wet one. I best be on my way now before it get's worse. I pulled my headphones out of my pocket and plugged them into my phone and quickly shuffling my playlist on spotify. I began the journey home letting my thoughts wander to whatever I pleased. The wind blew my long black hair out of my face slightly taking my breath away. With my eyes fixed on the road I nodded my head to the beat of "Do I wanna Know" by Arctic Monkeys.
I dug into my pockets feeling the cold object brush against my fingertips. I pulled the keys out of my pocket slightly enjoying the little jingle I made as I shuffled to find the correct key. Satisfied I inserted the key into the keyhole turning slightly and hearing the click go my door being unlocked. I placed my hand on the knob before inhaling a sharp breath and placing a fake smile on my face that everyone seemed to believe was real. Boy were they wrong.
"Just in time for dinner!" I heard my mom look back at me as I walked into the kitchen. I walked up to my mom and placed a kiss on her cheek. "smells amazing." I grinned. She handed me a plate filled with spaghetti. I took it gladly and sat down at the dinner table met by my older brother Eric who had just turned 21. I smiled at him and my father who sat across from us. "Amy! Dinner!" I heard my mom shout making me wince at her shout as it echoed in my eardrums. I heard the loud footsteps that echoed through the whole house as they pounded against the stairs. Moments later my 14 year old sister appeared and took the seat next to me. I smiled genuinely. She was always so happy and I would give anything to feel that way again. My mom then took the seat next to my father placing a kiss on his cheek. Goals. I pretended to listen to their conversations throughout dinner but for some reason I kept zoning out. My eyes focused on the glass of water in front of me following the excess drops on the side of the cup as they slowly slid down as they raced each other, the one on the left ended up winning.
"Cara?" My head shot up at the mention of my name. "yeah?" I asked. My mom smiled at my father before looking back at me and my siblings. "We have an announcement" She grinned. Please don't be pregnant. I thought in my head. It's not that I didn't like kids, It's just... Okay so maybe kids an I aren't a good match. "We're moving to Australia!" she gripped on to my dad's hand harder and his knuckles turned white as He looked at me for help to get her to release his hand. I felt my lips turn up into a slight smile only for a second though. I heard the noise a chair scrape against the floor before my older brother stormed off. Amy stood to her feet glaring at my parents. "What do you mean were moving all of my friends are in Texas!" her voice raising slightly. It wasn't shortly after when I got lost into my own thoughts as I imagined what it would be like to start over in Australia. Would I find happiness there? I know sure as hell I would't miss anything here. I had nothing holding me back if I was honest with you. And soon the thought of moving to Australia, gave me a slight little flutter in my stomach. I jumped and snapped back into reality as I heard a door slam. I tore my gaze from my cup and looked up to my now disappointed mom. I frowned slightly. "Just give them some time" I speak up. "If it makes you feel any better I actually like the idea of Australia" my mom half smiles at me.
That night was the same as every other night. I would hold my breath as the tears rolled down my cheeks, careful not to make any sound in fear of someone catching me. The last thing i need was to be bombarded with questions as to why I'm sad and crying. Mainly because I honestly didn't know as to why I felt this way. No one has ever truly hurt me before, I was never bullied or anything like that. Which was why I always felt so confused and unsure why I felt so... alone. However deep down I knew other people had it worse than me. It's just, I hate opening up. I hate discussing my feelings and I feel like I can't go to anyone because I feel I would just be a burden. So I keep to myself and hold everything inside, however the scariest part is, I know one day I'm gonna burst. That's the last thing I want, because I know that i will hurt the people who love me most by them seeing me so.. broken.
A/N
OMG! First chapter is up! I hope it didn't suck. lol.
SOTW:
Misguided Ghosts~ Paramore
Over and Over~ 5 Seconds Of Summer
Eat a brownie while reading this.
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Falling Into You. (Luke Hemmings )
FanfictionA story about a girl having a new start. She hopes things will be different now and maybe just maybe make a couple of friends. But fate did her better. Or so she thought. It wasn't until a few... Other people came into the picture. Will she let th...
