Home (Adopted by Brendon Urie) | #3

#6

SONG OF THE CHAPTER: BACKSLIDE BY TWENTY ONE PILOTS

Anna's POV

The door bell rings and dad and I look at each other debating who was going to answer it.
"But I'm comfy."
"But I'm old."
"You're not that old!"
"Yeah I am and you have young legs."
"But I've just gotten into my comfy position."
Mid conversation the doorbell rings again.
"Sarah!" "Mum!" We both yell at the same time.
"No!" She yells back.
"Ugh fine." I sigh and get up.
"Yes! I win!"
"Yeah this time."

I make my way to the front door and open it. It was James and I feel my heart pound in my throat. Oh no. That is not a good sign. I brush it off. It has to just be me overreacting, we're just going to have a chat and everything will go fine and we'll go back to normal.

"Hi." I smile.
"Hey."
We stand awkwardly in the doorway.
"So..."
"Yeah..."
"Who is it?." Dad yells.
"James."
"Why is he ringing the doorbell then? He has a key."
"I don't know."

"Should we go?" I say after a few moments, breaking the silence. He nods and I let dad know that I'm leaving and get into his car.

"So how have you been?" James asks me.
"Yeah okay, yourself?"
"Okay, been thinking."
"That's good. That was the point of this break." I laugh a bit and he smiles.

After 10 minutes of small talk, we arrive to a park. We hop out of the car and start walking around. I was glad we were walking as it helped to get a bit of my anxious energy out.

"Okay so how do we start?" He asks.
"You asked for this time. You start."
"Okay. Uh. I still love you so much and I want to make this work I just feel like there's somethings we need to improve on."
"Okay? As in?"
"Well you're not perfect but like it be nice if you would stop making everything about you."
"Huh?" I asked genuinely confused.
"Well every time I want to go out, you don't want to leave, we always have to do what you want. You always say no to going out for dinner or something."
"I'm sorry. I just sometimes get really anxious about going out or sometimes I just don't have the energy to get out. I'm still working on my eating disorder remember."
"Eating disorder? Huh?"
"What do you mean huh?"
"Oh yeah right."
"Did you manage to forget that?"
"Oh yea maybe."
"How? Literally how?"
"I just forget things okay. It's fine. But yeah, you always claim 'you don't have an energy to do anything'."
"I'm sorry for doing that but it's really hard some days. I really do try my best."

We continue talking for 25 minutes about things. He kept saying how I need to do better and support him more which I really didn't understand because I was always there for him. From when his mother died, to when he failed his end of school exams all while dealing with my own mental health issues and struggling myself. I helped him study for his college entrance exams, I supported all his decisions even if I didn't agree with them, like him quitting his job and going jobless for 6 months while he refused to apply for another job.

I tried explaining all this to him but I don't think he was understanding when I was coming from.
"Even Peter's dad thinks that you use your mental health issues as an excuse for everything."
"Wait. What?"
"You use your mental health as an excuse."
"No not that part. I mean yes that part but what? Who thinks that?"
"Peter's dad."
"Why does he have a say in this?"
"Because I was talking to him and-"
"Talking to him about what?"
"Your mental health."
"Why?"
"Because I can?"
"What does he know?"
"Oh most of it. Like your depression, anxiety, eating disorder. Most of your past."
"What!" I was astonished at this point. I've never even met the man but he knew about my entire life and that didn't sit right with me.
"What?"
"I've never met the man and you're saying he know my life."
"And?"
"You don't see the problem with that?"
"No?"
I tried to stay calm.
"I really don't appreciate you telling people about my mental health issues. That's my story to tell. Not yours."
"It's not like it's all over the internet." He rolls his eyes.
"No. It's my story to tell people you can't go around telling people."
"Oh it's fine."
"It's not. Who have you told?"
"Apart from Peter's dad. Just his older brother. That's it I think. Oh maybe Harriet."
We had stopped walking by this point and I had just frozen. I was couldn't believe what I was hearing.