Fatal Attraction (Jamaican Novel)

•Chapter 19•

Sunday|| 12:50 P.M

Tanoi Cunningham

English allowed me to help them paint the grave, he changed it from the pink color to blue and white. He had a new headstone made for it as well, watching him focused on every detail made my heart break.

It was obvious he wanted to break down and cry, but he won't do it, at least not now.

Grandma stood over him as he was stooped down just looking. She didn't hide her emotions, neither did a few other relatives, Dre and Yanique stood afar taking everything in, even if he didn't know Brandon very well, he remembered him, bits of memories still counted.

He was our brother.

Our friend.

He was always there.

I sat on the step watching everything, Imani and the boys were by my side as well, making sure to watch over the grieving family.

Brandon's funeral was the first one I went to, before Dad's mother died. It was the saddest most depressing time of our lives, I'm surprised English made it this far without falling apart.

He wanted to quit but he couldn't, that wasn't an option.

"Mi never see him like that before" Beck says, "neutral".

"It happens often" Imani informs, he then placed his hand on my back, "go and comfort him".

Not something I'm used to doing but I did it anyway, when English noticed I was next to him, he finally let his tears flow. Dre was on his other side, we both put our hands on his shoulders and just let him know we were here.

The death that made Trelawny stand still, it was everywhere on the news. People feared walking on the streets, no one knew what might happen if Dad snapped.

He didn't though, he kept his composure. He carried his son's casket with a straight face, he said nothing at the funeral, when he was being buried here, he just stood over the hole, staring into it.

My mother cried so much, she couldn't eat or sleep, they both grieved differently and neither blamed the other, they stood by each other's side until the last day.

I went through therapy, so did English, but no amount of therapy could make up for everything we went through.

I kneel down next to English and he wrapped his arm around me, kissing my forehead, he sniffled then sighed deeply.

"Sorry yaah fi live like this", none of it was his fault.

"Hmmm, it's not your fault" I assured him.

"The three a you alone can make Brandon proud" Grandma says from behind us, "live life safe and true, don't take responsibility for things that have nothing to do with you, do what you have to but don't ever forget to live your own lives".

I see why Dre always talk like an old wise man.

She's right, we have to live our own lives.

Dad might not approve of Imani because of the past but I know there's a reason we can't leave each other alone.

There has to be a reason why he's always there, why he's friends with my brother.

There's a reason we don't live like our parents want us to.

When I decided to give him a chance I knew the consequences but I have strong feelings for him, I don't know if I love him like he did me, but I somewhat did love him.

My brothers trusted him with their lives, especially English, he would give anything for Imani, and it's vice versa.

Uncle Dan motions for us to stand up and we do, he dipped a brush into the white paint and painted over our hands.