Sacrifice - Hela Odinson

#1 - Burn the Bear

I'm so fucking done with this matura bullshit. Ever since I started high school, no one can shut up about it. If I make the slightest mistake, the teachers start the "you'll fail the matura with that mindset".

I'd say "the matura can kiss my ass", but I know how important it is and now that I only have one semester left until it comes, I'm actually freaking out and so is Pat, my partner in crime. We always cheat on tests together, but now... We can't cheat our way out of this one.

For those who don't know, matura is a big exam every high school senior has to pass in order to graduate. They can ask you questions from all the material you've learned since you first set foot in a school.

At least not from all subjects... "Only" maths, history, Hungarian (which involves both grammar and literature), a language of your choice, and another subject you get to choose.

Long story short, we're doomed. Especially Pat and me.

"We're gonna need the help of some higher being to pass this shit..." Pat mumbled while staring at her math notes. Her facial expression told me she didn't understand a thing.

"What if I tattoo the material on myself? They can't do anything about that, can they?" I suggested.

"You don't have enough skin" she shook her head. "Besides, they won't let you take the exam if you don't cover the tattoos."

"Oh, fuck me..." I kicked the foot of the desk in annoyance.

"Gladly" Pat chuckled.

"Shut up!" I laughed despite our hopeless situation.

"I have a wife anyways" Pat performed the fanciest hair flip I have ever seen.

"And I'm your mom" I added.

Us, as a friend group, have this mythology sort of lore. Stella is the Mother Of Us All, since she has the most common sense, Pat and Sofi are married because we said so, and I'm Pat's mom, because why not, and no, I don't care that she's older than me in real life. Age can't stand in the way of my maternal instincts. Oh, and I almost forgot: Giulia (or Glors) is everyone's girlfriend.

We were just bored, we came up with this stuff, and everyone went along with it.

"Did that ever stop me?" Pat made an absurdly exaggerated flirtatious face.

"Stop it, before Sofi gets jealous" I smacked her in the head with my math textbook.

We all joke flirt, even though Pat is aro-ace. The only one we don't flirt with is Stella. She deserves our respect for having braincells.

"Let's study instead" I added.

"Or... We could skip like half of the material... And pray to Fortuna, Roman goddess of luck, to get the questions we can actually answer in the test." Pat stretched and yawned. She was already tired of this shit. Me too. So I decided to go along with the fantasy of a goddess saving our asses.

"The list of the questions we can answer would be an empty sheet of paper. But the prayer thingy is worth a shot." I shrugged. "We could go to the park and burn some sort of snack, just like they burned food in ancient times."

"And what gods are we going to dedicate it to?" Pat sat up excitedly.

Burning things with my partner in crime sounded like a fun afternoon activity, so I didn't back down.

"One for Fortuna, for luck. One for... Bullshitticus, and his muses, Caffeina and Thesauria." I suggested.

"Who?"

"They're the patron god and muses of students. The internet made them up. We might as well give it a shot." I closed my textbook and set it aside.

"Okay, that actually sounds cool. Bullshitticus is the best. Let's dedicate one to Zeus too, because he's one of the big bosses, and I wouldn't want to face his wrath." Pat went on with the idea.