Roxanne

Chapter 25

(Drowning By A Boogie Wit Da Hoodie)

Roxanne's Pov

"Roxanne?" McKenna yelled over the music and I rolled my eyes at her.

"What?" I asked, turning to face her.

My feet were hurting, and I was completely drunk. I couldn't help it. The emotions I was feeling were too strong for me to feel. I was hurt, not only from him, but from myself. I was pushing him away because I was scared.

I was scared of the emotions, of the happiness. I never felt like that before, and it made me crazy. How I felt dancing in a club, the freedom, how happy I was, is how he made me feel. He made me feel like he was my escape.

He was my escape.

When I got doxxed, I ran to New York.

I ran right to him.

When everything was going down with Jaxon, I ran right to him, once again.

Schlatt was the person who understood me.

Matteo understood me, but he didn't understand me in the way that Schlatt could. I didn't think it was possible to click with someone as quickly as I did, but he proved it to be possible.

"Let's get you out of here. The club is about to close." McKenna pulled my arm, and I smiled.

"Go without me." I waved her away, going deeper into the sea of people on the dance floor.

"Roxanne." She begged and I huffed.

"Leave me alone, please." I closed my eyes, feeling them burn, blinking in a way to try and make it stop.

I felt eyes on me as I looked around the club trying to find where the stares were coming from.

My vision was blurred, the lights were surrounding me, flicking different colors. My body felt like it was growing heavy and heavier.
The diamond bracelet that my dad got me was on my wrist. He got it for me on my sixteenth birthday, and I normally don't wear it, but i wanted to feel closer to home.

"Roxanne, come on, I have to go. I'm not leaving you here alone." I felt Mckenna's body freeze as the smile grew on my face once a song I knew came on.

"Roxanne." The voice was deep, but not as deep as Matteo's. It took me a second to fully register whose voice it was, and I wish I pretended I didn't even hear it.

"Jaxon, I told you to wait outside." McKenna said, pushing him away from me.

"Do you want help getting her out of here or not?" He angrily asked her, looking towards me, who was dancing with a random girl.

I felt hands grab me, McKenna and Jaxon both taking one of my arms, helping me walk out of the club. The sweat was beaded on my face, my makeup was smudged, people were staring at us as we left. But this is my escape from reality.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Now I heard my brother's voice.

The cold air was blowing on me, as I tried to stand up straight. I looked over at McKenna who gave me an apologetic look.

"You called my brother?" I closed my eyes, not wanting to get angry at her for the things I caused.

"I didn't know what else to do! You weren't listening and I wasn't leaving you in there by yourself." McKenna said, as I opened up my eyes and looked at her.

She looked sad, hurt, exhausted, and most importantly she looked worried. Now that I think about it, so does Matteo, and even Jaxon looks a little worried. I laughed nervously looking around before I was lifted off of the ground and thrown over Matteo's shoulder.

"Thank you for calling me." Matteo spoke to McKenna, starting to walk away from the siblings.

"Put me down." I hit his back a couple times but he didn't budge.

"What the hell were you thinking?!" He yelled once my feet hit the floor.

"What-"

"You don't think sometimes, Roxanne! Whatever the hell went down last night you better figure it out, because I'm not doing this every single goddamn night." He pointed his finger at me, raising my voice.

"You can't just run from your problems, that is not the way Mom and Dad raised us. Most importantly you can't run from the people who care about you." He was getting angerier by the second and I felt my palms start to sweat.

"I have done everything to try and protect you-"

"I don't need protecting! I'm a grown woman!" I cut him off and he shook his head.

"I get that-"

"You don't seem to get that, Matteo. I'm falling apart, and you have everything you want. There is no protecting something that is already completely shattered." I pushed him away from me, walking to the passenger seat.

"Roxanne!" He groaned, locking his car so I couldn't get in.

"Don't Roxanne me-"

"Fine. Figure your shit out then! On your own!" He unlocked the car, walked to the otherside, and got in.

I got into the car, facing the window looking out as he drove. The buildings flying by, the streetlights, the stars in the sky.

"We're here." He said, putting the car in park outside of my house.

"Thanks." I responded, opening the door and starting to get out.

"Love you." He said, and I felt the lump form in my throat.

"Whatever." I whispered, closing my eyes, spinning around and closing the door.

I started walking up to the door to my house, when I heard the car door open again. I didn't stop walking. I grabbed my keys, unlocking the door, and shutting it.

"Roxanne? I'm sorry I yelled."

I couldn't bring myself to respond to him, because I deserved it.

I needed a wake up call.

I never realized how much I was drowning.

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