BLUE ROSES.| CYJ

resolution

*italics will indicate past memories 

Sohee's new year resolution: to love Tomorrow by Together (more than she did the previous year)

Resolutions were like stars to her , somewhat distant in the sky when she looked at them in awe. But they're too distant to be true. Too far away from accomplishment, yet it glints amongst the album casket she packed this spring. 

She sighs as she hears another customer walk towards the counter with an order .

" That would be 8000 won , would you like to add a scoop of ice cream to your order for another 200 won ?..." , She turns to face the customer as he approves of the recommendation. As expected , ice cream always had one of the best customers for the relief it promised.

Sohee loved having ice creams during the camps so often that one would find her sitting in her secret spot on the trampoline if she wasn't present for her dance lessons . One summer day , she had accidently ordered a large batch of ice cream and upon enquiring her uncle had known that she just wished that her friends would have ice cream together for the last time before they all went back home to their hometowns after the camp. She was afraid that after the summer camp was over she would be left all alone again . Perhaps , those who smile the most during goodbyes are the ones who were the worst affected by farewells .

Yeonjun had the widest smile on his face upon receiving an ice cream cone from Sohee on the last day of camp . She had grown close to the boy over the few months that it was hard to accept that he was going to leave the camp . He sat down next to Sohee who was seated with her head drooped , she had lost all the fun that was usually lively on her face. Iit was the first time that he knew that there were sad happy people in the world as well , he doesn't recall the moment the cup of ice cream slipped out of his hand when Sohee hugged him hard sobbing on his shoulders , " Don't go , please" .

He embraces his best friend , " I promise! , I'll come back" .

Yeonjun himself didn't know that he was so good at keeping promises .

A few weeks months after the summer of 2014 , Sohee's uncle passed away from a cardiac arrest .  Sohee was neither familiar with her real family's faces nor had she ever taken a glimpse of her deceased parents , so mourning was unusual to her when she had lost the only person she could rely on the most in her life . He raised his brother's daughter as his own after they had passed away in a plane crash when she was five years old . He taught her how to dance , he raised her to be fearless and to always listen to her heart. She was free to choose what she wants to be in the future and vowed to support her till the end . Sohee was shattered when she stood in the mortuary for the first time , shaken from head to toe and eyes red from unable to accept the fact that he was no longer with her . His lifeless body was displayed for the last time before he was buried .

Yeonjun hugged her the hardest when he visited the mourning house . He took the fastest train from Seongnam(his hometown) to Gangnam alone after he heard the news , he just couldn't imagine how devastated she must have been alone . He had turned up in a black suit , his tie loosely hung around his neck , running over to his best friend lifting her up in a tight embrace . She cried the loudest on his shoulders .

Two weeks after , Sohee was again surprised by Yeonjun's ever so tight embrace when turned up in front of her house. He had a refreshing smile on his face , his bright smile radiating from his face to lighten her dull house with sunshine that it had lost . He carried two full suitcases , a bag pack hung on his back and a pillow underneath his armpit .

" Kang Sohee , won't you let me in?".

" What ?" , She looked at him confused as he slammed his luggage inside .

" You silly girl , I'm moving in with you . My Mom agreed to let me stay here with you!".

Sohee smiled bleakly .

" Yah. This is not out of sympathy , don't worry . I'm training to become an idol now , and this place is the closest to my dream company.." , he explained .

" We can split our bills together , I'll take the bottom bed and you can take the room upstairs . We can spend time studying together at nights , we can go to Karaoke on the weekends and...I can't wait for us to become legal adults so we can have our first beer together...".

" Won't you help me make my dream come true , Sohee ? " .

And Sohee did , with all her heart and soul .

So Yeonjun could celebrate his new year with happiness .

Yeonjun walks towards the cafe whispering her name , desperately hoping that the address brought to him by the protocol team was right and he would finally get to reunite with his best friend , Kang Sohee . He almost cannot feel his heart from bursting in excitement , already imagining the ways he would introduce himself to her , a smile blooms on his face when he imagines her reacting to him after so long. Would she have missed him too ? What if she had forgotten him ?

Of all friendships that have lasted in his life , this one was the longest and the most neglected one that he aimed to fix this time. Being an idol , it was not easy for him to stay much in contact with the people he loves and at most believes he was a high maintenance friend , the kind that takes everything over his feelings if hurt by words or intentions of others .

He takes a sharp turn towards the entrance of the cafe as the bell chimes introducing his presence inside . He looks around holding tight the bouquet of blue roses tight in his clasp . His heart beats rapidly as he looks around expecting surprised gazes and the gasps that follow after . He lowers his head encountering an uncomfortable welcome , the cafe was mundane upon searching around with a pair of anxious eyes . Yeonjunn was not the best when it comes to facing a new group of people . He was extremely shy on the contrary to his intimidating aura . He gulps observing the people who watch him confused. Yeonjun bit his lower lip as he walked inside regardless .

What if he doesn't meet Sohee today ?

He brushes past his weary thoughts . Over-thinking was a serious business for Yeonjun , what ifs make up the most of his headspace as he tries to sort through the uncertainty and confusion every single time. It was not easy for him to accept thinking less, at times he was in terms with the fact that he was meticulous about details . The other days it makes him lose his mind over the slightest inconvenience.

What if Sohee did not like the flowers ?

Yeonjun takes a deep breath as he walks further inside .

He pauses when he sees her .

She observes him stunned. Her eyes bloomed big in shock and her mouth hung open . His lips blossom for a faint smile . Sohee hadn't changed one bit . She had the same soft baby bangs layered elegantly on her forehead , her soft cat-like eyes staring at him in curiosity when he met her for the first time. Her frail arms , her tender expressions when she looks at him. He saw a glimpse of her back at the camp when she had big bold cat whiskers drawn on her face . Sohee covers her mouth in shock . The mop stick slips out of her hand and falls on the floor with a loud thud .

" You..." . she breathes .

" Kang Sohee...", he smiles.

" Do you remember me , your favourite idol? " .