Yeonjun walks down the colourless corridors of the hospital on each floor in search of the doctor's cabin. He concludes his search on the third floor. Yeonjun covers his mouth, sneaking inside carefully without possibly getting caught, but takes a step back surprised when he hears a voice.
"Oh, you found my cabin? ", the doctor welcomes him, the tone of his voice varies in surprise.
"Ofcourse, it was not hard", Yeonjun lies and he walks inside the wide spaced cabin.
Behind him follow the men in uniform holding large boxes above their shoulders. They walk towards one side of the room and place the boxes down and walk outside in discipline. Curious about the large brown cardboard boxes, Yeonjun turns towards the doctor who lifts up a CT scan for inspection in the meantime. It fascinates him and he walks over with not one but two questions and stands next to him contemplating what to ask first.
"I came over to talk to you about something.." ,Yeonjun faces him. his voice sounds airy, shaky and nervous as the doctor denies him attention.
The doctor hums instead as he refuses to lower the report down. Yeonjun observes a vibrant outline of the brain in the sheet. He squints his eyes confused as he glances down on the utility table that held another report, a glimpse of a frightening picture sends shivers down his spine. A still picture of a girl's face in two frames, her eyes closed, her face is wounded with dark bruises with intense bleeding down her nose, mouth and forehead.
"Is that..? " , Yeonjun asks blurry eyed as he reaches out for the report.
"Your friend, yes. that is her", Namson informs him
" This is a report of the impact of the injury on her head", he briefs.
"It contains sensitive images, I cannot let you see this" , the doctor covers the report as he arranges the sheets in an order and places it aside. Yeonjun observes him upset as he could not figure out what could be in those, perhaps the doctor had a strong reason to do so. He doesn't know and he accepts it as he lowers his head.
"Sohee lost her memories due to signs of dementia from neuro trauma" , the doctor begins in a soft voice, " that means she suffered from traumatic brain injuries and excessive internal bleeding during the blast. The chances of recovery is low"
" Does that mean? " , Yeonjun hesitates, " that she will not be able to remember anything at all?.."
The doctor hums in response.
"It's difficult to tell. but that is not what concerns me the most. I feel like..her dementia was not caused entirely by the blast.."
"Did she report any signs of bad memory when she was young? in her teenage ? ", the doctor enquires.
"None. She was fine until the fucking blast ruined her", Yeonjun curses as he stares down at the ground clenching his jaw in anger. He closes his eyes for a moment as the doctor taps on his shoulder.
"Most of the victims are affected by minor injuries and we have reported no deaths since the incident" , informs the doctor. Yeonjun sighs in relief. The serious tone of the doctor makes him feel cornered, the atmosphere around him dull and cold as he glances at the items on the table.
"Here are your watch, purse and phone that we have procured since that day. we kept it safe and you may take these with you. Sohee however had nothing in possession"
"You could still try showing her a couple of pictures of you two together or narrate the stories about the times you spent in the past. I cannot confirm more beyond this, Sohee's dementia is her choice. she will remember if she believes she can" , the doctor ends.
a gush of silence follows after.
Yeonjun stopped listening to him after he explained to him about her dementia. He could not agree that she had in fact, lost her memories that he assumed was a prank on him. in a small corner of his heart, he expected it.
He observes his watch, an expensive limited edition Rolex in sterling silver that was gifted by his mother. his phone that no longer worked and a sign of brutal crack that evolved from the edge of the screen. He picks up his wallet next, flips it open and spots a picture of him and Sohee in the front compartment. He cherished that picture at times he felt confused, sometimes as a reminder that she could be waiting for him as much as he wished to talk to her.
"Dr. Namson, would you please attend ward number 507? I have to assist a surgery before lunch. " , a voice alarms the doctor.
"Yes. right on..", Namson replies as he walks out of the cabin with the report in his hands.
Yeonjun observes him till the door until he was no longer available for him to talk to.
He sighs as he plucks the picture out and walks over to the chair to rest for a moment. He was also uncomfortable with memories. It made his head pound, the feel of his heartbeat thump loud in his forehead. Yeonjun was exhausted from trying to read the signs of his weak body. He wished perhaps, the one to pass away was supposed to him during the blast and he survived through a miracle. He talked to his best friend, but practically she could never remember him again, but at the same time if he did continue talking to her, he would create a bond that he could not destroy even if he wanted to. He doesn't want to do it again and ruin her.
Sohee could recover from her injury and may start walking again and perhaps forget about him once he decides to leave. It didn't matter how many times he tried, he could never be with her.
To Yeonjun , the thought of losing her had become a ritual, at the end of each prayer he begs that he could pass away with the memories of a girl he wished to erase from his own damned mind. He winces, his entire torso in discomfort and raises up his legs up on the chair. He lifts up his elbow on the table and leans his head on his arm. He cries, again. His soul burns alive inside.
"Why? Why are you so close to me, yet so miserably far from my reach? why? why Sohee?", he breathes out, tears flow down his eyes and trail down his arm. His face turns red and his lips curl up as he cries, breathes out loud and takes in another large breath. The sun shines warm on his head, his tears glisten on his cheek and feel warm on his arm as he rests his head on the table.
"I can't live like this, in this madness", he chokes, "Sohee, I love you. I love you so much, love. but I can't live like this, in this madness, love..", he lets out a breath shaking.
"In this madness, will you love me back, Sohee? ", he wraps his arm around his knee on the chair and he leans on the table for comfort.
" Will you love me again, love? "
"please, please, please, please", he begs wincing on the chair, " please. please. please. love, please"
"please. please. please", he breathes out loud, begs and cries.
"please"
"please"
"love"
YOU ARE READING
BLUE ROSES.| CYJ
Fanfictionin which her idol helps her recall her memories UNDER EDIT - Sohee's world is shattered when her idol Yeonjun walks into the cafe where a blast occurs. She and Yeonjun are injured and are rushed to the hospital but she loses her memories of being...
