BLUE ROSES.| CYJ

overcome

Fear traversed his body like a meteorite , glowing red in his veins and his skin spiked with goosebumps when he heard a soft voice on the phone.

" Mom..", he breaths and tears flowed down his cheek. Yeonjun took a large breath causing him to yelp out his suppressed rage. He covers his mouth shut with his hand when his mother began.

"Healing-ah!.."

" Are you alright, my son? " , she questioned and concern oozing out of every hushed breath she took from the other side.

" Mom , I feel so guilty , I can't do this anymore.." , he cries breaking out into a cry that his mother had never heard before , every bit of his stressed voice shooting at her like a dagger . Yeonjun did not care anymore , he wanted to let his mother know the truth of all those days he lied to her about holding on to the hope that was never real.

" I feel like I should die , I don't want to live anymore , mom " , he breathes out in pain , " Please.."

" Yeonjun-ah , please stop saying that , you're making me cry.." , his mom trudges ,afraid that he was going to harm himself pity if he wasn't stopped.

" Please cry for me , mom. I'll hear you cry a punishment for being a bad son to you , but please , please let me go this once..", Yeonjun explains as he sat slouching out of fatigue and the cold breeze blows past his cheeks drying his tears. Perhaps , Yeonjun had lost his mind all at once since there was nothing to hope for anymore , nothing to dream about or live for once he was discharged from the hospital.

"Yeonjun-ah , where are you now? Show me where you are right now with a video call " , she asks calmly , still her voice groggy from crying instantly on the other side.

" Hi , mom " , he begins upon glancing at her through the phone , " Did you eat today? " , he smiles as he walks inside the elevator holding the phone close to him. He leans to press the button indicating the top most floor . Albeit confused whether he could access the balcony or not , he was completely run by his heart that desired for a relief .

" You're as pretty as always.." , he adds upon gleaming at her for the last time stealing the silence that hovered over the empty elevator.

" You my son , are as pretty as the sun that rises everyday. I want to meet you soon as possible.."

" I'm at the hospital , I'm walking towards the balcony to die , please expect my body to reach you by the morning.." , he explains as he lifts up his phone to capture his pathetic self in a frame worth not worth the impatience his mother had for him. He steps out of the elevator with a faint smile on his face.

" Please Yeonjun , Please don't do anything to yourself! please listen to mom.." , she replies hastily observing him walk into an unfamiliar spark of light upon entering the balcony.

" No , Mom. This is my final wish , I made the most of my youth performing for Moa . I feel blessed to have been born to you and dad , you took care of me so well all these years , but it's time for me to go.." , he smiles walking towards the railing with a constant longing for the air the strike his body immensely . But the breeze was calm , gliding past his cheek caressing his hair gently like his mother through the phone. He wondered what his life would have been if he weren't an idol , or if he could not feel the music traverse through his veins like electricity , he would have died either ways through the shocks of a mundane lifestyle , or if he never fell in love with Sohee , his life would have never been so deranged for having such garish expectation for love amidst the love from his fans. Sohee was a mess herself , it was obvious that he knew that she was going to end up pathetic , but now that he was more pathetic , screaming out loud for the ground to embrace his bitter body underneath the railing.