𝑵𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝑳.𝑺.

9: I missed you too, Harry

Feelings, it is something I will never understand. Confusion, overwhelmed and even drained is what I felt, not knowing what to do with it.

On the other side, the person who made me feel all those emotions, also brought me so much joy, happiness and made me smile like I hadn't in a very long time.

And that, that scared me so much, but I didn't know why I was scared either...

My phone started buzzing as I was about to leave for work, having a night shift till 2A.M.

'Hey Lou, I know you probably don't want another text from me but.. I miss you.'

It was from Harry, just like every other message that had been coming in every day for the last week.

My heart ached looking at it. Harry had send me multiple texts, the first ones confused, then sad, and now almost extremely upset.

I almost texted him back, telling him I missed him too, that it was all complicated and that I didn't mean to leave him like that but that I was just confused, but I didn't.

Harry deserved someone who wasn't as complicated as I am, who doesn't work more than he is at home, someone who doesn't blame himself for his sister's dead every second of the day...

I packed up my stuff and some snacks for when there were breaks in between helping patients.

Zayn soon was parked in front of the building, driving me and Liam to the hospital.

"So, got any messages from-"

I cut him off. "Don't even ask me when you already know the answer."

Zayn kept his eyes on the road. "Louis, I will never forgive you if you don't text him back soon and give him a chance."

I was shocked to hear him say that. Zayn was always calm and collected, would never tell someone to do something they didn't want to, would always try to keep the peace.

"Zayn, this is my life, remember?" I looked at him through the rearview mirror, my eyes looking droopy and red as I looked at myself.

Zayn sighed. "You heard what I said, look at you now! You lost your spark, Louis! He made you happier than you have ever been, even Liam and I can't make you giggle like that with our stupid jokes!"

I tried to ignore him and looked out of the window, the sky cloudy and dark, preparing for the snow that would probably fall soon, it being December now.

"Louis I know that work is important to you, but your sister wouldn't want this either for you, to see you like this! I know you see work as a way to punish yourself as well as to be close to her and remember her and do this for her, but you're going to break yourself like this, Gracie-" Liam tried, but I stopped him from going any further.

Something in my head snapped as I thew the seatbelt off of me. "Stop the car, now." I coldly said, Zayn not budging.

"STOP THE CAR!" I yelled, anger boiling through my whole body.

Zayn slammed the breaks, luckily the car being next to a parking spot.

I threw open the door, poking my head back inside the car for a split second. "Don't ever tell me what to do, you know nothing about me or my sister!" With that I slammed the door shut and started walking, not knowing where to.

I looked around and noticed I was really close to Harry's place, and I started walking into that direction, my mind blank and feelings numb as the rain poured down on me, my body shivering through my thick coat.

I entered the flat and took the elevator to Harry's floor and stood a while in front of his door, debating if I should knock or not. After all, because of 'him' there was an argument in the first place... This was all because of me and I couldn't let him drown with me...

Before I knew it my hand was reaching for the door, my hand knocking on the door, my body being on auto pilot.

It took some time before I heard some noise inside the house, some shuffles before the door was being opened and Harry gasped when he saw me standing there, soaking wet, crying and for real a mess, not that I was looking any different honestly.

Still in this state, he was the most beautiful man on earth.

"Louis-"

"I need you more then I want to, Harry. I missed you, too."