𝑵𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒔 𝑳.𝑺.

2: Thinking it through

It was all a bit of a blur, that evening was the toughest shift I had ever worked, even though so many people had died in front of my eyes, even though so many people had survived, no shift was ever as tough and a lesson as that night, nothing could ever compare.

"Mrs. Jones, I'm so sorry, me and my team did everything we could, your husband suffered from a heart attack while we were treating him for his other injuries." Sentences like that would always be running through my head, just like some scenes that I would always see when I closed my eyes, haunting me when I sleep.

It was never easier to tell people this, not even after as many times as I have done.

The woman flew right into my arms and sobbed. "How could this have happened? We never saw this coming!" I pat her back, not knowing what to say.

I pulled back but held onto her shoulders. "He told me he loves you and your son very much, that he wouldn't be living with regrets." I felt like I needed to tell her that, leaving out all the other parts he said to me.

She nodded and sniffled. "Thank you, he knows we love him as well, he's at a better place now, but god it hurts." She sobbed again, even harder than just a minute ago.

Liam, who stood next to me carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. "Can I get you some water, miss?"

She shook her head. "No thank you, I should get going, thank you for everything Dr. Tomlinson, Dr. Payne."

Liam and I shook her hand. "I'm sorry for your loss, feel free to call me if you want to know something that you forgot to ask." She gratefully took the business card out of my hand and waved before walking off, saying a quick goodbye.

I noticed my shift was over and went to the dressing room to change my clothes, putting the old ones in the laundry and getting my backpack.

I stood outside with a cigarette waiting for Liam, thinking about tonights events.

Ernest words were running through my head 'no regrets' 'never asked myself if I was alright, always working just like you' it was as if he knew me when I don't even know myself.

"Louis?"

"Hm?" I hadn't noticed Liam coming outside, he was now standing in front of me.

"You're alright mate? You were zoning out for a second, thought I might had to take you back inside," he chuckled lightly.

I shook my head. "I'm alright, shall we go home?" I rubbed my hands together and pulled my beanie closer over my ears, the cold November weather not being my favorite.

Once at Liam's flat I sat down on the couch with a cuppa, me explaining to him what Ernest had said to me moments before he died.

Liam listened quietly, here and there nodding or humming, letting me know he was listening closely.

"Do you think I work too hard, Liam?" I asked him once we spoke about tonight and he thought for a second.

"I think you do at times, but people are relying a lot on you, lou. You are the head of our team, keeping us together. I'm sad you don't let people in often, you deserve to have that and so much more."

He hugged me and I let his words sink in. "I have you and zee, that's enough for me. Work is everything to me, you know that."

I heard him sigh. "I know that you feel that way but you can't help what happened to your sister-"

I pulled away from him. "I don't want to talk about that, Liam." I spoke firmly, letting him know that conversation was done.

He nodded, a guilty expressing on his face. "I'm sorry." He looked at his phone. "Zayn is asking us if we're still awake, he wants to go clubbing, might be a good idea after what happened."

I yawned as if on cue. "Li I'm hella tired, you can go, though."

He rolled his eyes. "It wasn't really a question, come on it might be good for you, socialize a bit, find yourself a boyfriend or some."

I laughed. "Probably something that's not gonna happen anytime soon, but sure let's go, you won't let me stay here anyway would ya?"

He pulled me off the couch and on my feet, dragging me to the front door. "Let's goooo!"